Negotiating Against Yourself: The Hidden Ways You Shrink in Love

Have you ever found yourself over-compromising, downplaying your needs, or trying to “earn” love from a man who gives the bare minimum? In this episode, Marshaun Olaniyan — Shift Relationship Strategist for Black professional women — breaks down the subtle ways Black women unknowingly negotiate against themselves in dating and relationships.

You’ll learn how to:
1. Recognize when you’re shrinking to keep the peace
2. Reclaim your power without losing your softness
3. Stop settling for “almost relationships” and start leading with self-worth

Whether you’re a Black woman over 40 getting back into dating, or a high-achieving woman who’s tired of feeling unseen and undervalued in love — this episode gives you the clarity and confidence to stop negotiating your value.

If you’re ready to see how your patterns may be holding you back, take my free quiz curated for women like you:
👉🏾Take the quiz: What's Blocking You From Being Soft in Love: bit.ly/whatsblockingyou

It’s time to stop dimming your light for love and start attracting the kind of relationship that meets you where you are — whole, healed, and confident.


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Books That Have Impacted My Views on Men, Dating & Relationships:
1. Saving Your Marriage Before it Begins: The 7 Questions to Ask Before and After You Get Married https://amzn.to/3Xc5lb5
2. His Needs Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage https://amzn.to/3QwmHLO
3. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs https://amzn.to/434D6ic
4. Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dream-girl https://amzn.to/3XfE3jZ
5. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man https://amzn.to/412RFAc
6. What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and Healing https://amzn.to/4hOTZSl
7. Getting the Love You Want: A Couples Guide https://amzn.to/3XgOkML
8. Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet https://amzn.to/4gWKoaW
9. Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others https://amzn.to/3CZMysA
10. The 5 Love Languages https://amzn.to/43gl0JY



About Marshaun Olaniyan
I’m passionate about helping Black women — especially Black professional women — create healthy, fulfilling relationships without shrinking themselves or losing their power. Through coaching, courses, and digital tools, I teach women how to lead with self-worth, emotional safety, and feminine confidence.


For Helpful Resources Check Out the Links Below:
👩🏽‍🦱 Quiz link: What's Blocking You From Being Soft in Love: bit.ly/whatsblockingyou

📱 Book a coaching conversation with me: bit.ly/bookacoachingconvo

Chapters:
0:00 Intro
1:12 How We Negotiate Against Ourselves
23:25 Invitation to Invest in Yourself

✋🏾DISCLAIMER: This video is not sponsored. Some links are affiliate links which means if you buy something I may make a small commission at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.