Why You Feel What You Feel and How to Change It

What are emotions, really? Are they instincts you must obey, or signals you must understand?

In this video, I break down the true nature of emotions and explain why they feel automatic even though they are not instinctual. Emotions are not random reactions. They are the result of value judgments you have integrated over time, often subconsciously. Something happens, or you remember the past, or imagine the future, and your mind evaluates whether that event is good or bad for you. The result of that evaluation is an emotion.

Just as sensations operate through a pleasure-pain mechanism to protect your body, emotions operate through a joy-suffering mechanism to protect your values. But like sensations, emotions are not infallible. They depend on the premises you hold about yourself, other people, and the world.

In this video, I explain:

The difference between sensations and emotions
Why emotions feel automatic but are actually learned
How value judgments create emotional responses
Why acting on emotions without examining them leads to inner conflict
How unexamined emotions can damage relationships and self-trust
Why emotions should be understood, not suppressed
How introspection allows you to validate or correct emotional responses

I share a personal story about my daughter’s decision to enlist in the army and how acting on unexamined emotions damaged our relationship. I then show how examining the premises behind those emotions allowed me to change how I felt, repair the relationship, and dramatically increase my self-trust.

I also introduce a practical framework called the Seven Question Introspection Guide, a step-by-step method for understanding emotions by identifying triggers, examining value judgments, testing them for rationality, and choosing the right course of action.

This process has transformed how I relate to my emotions. I feel less inner conflict, less anxiety around risk, and more confidence in making difficult decisions, including life-changing ones like divorce after a thirty-year relationship.

If you want to live an examined life where emotions and reason work together instead of pulling you in opposite directions, this video will give you the conceptual clarity and tools to begin.

You can download the workbook and the Seven Question Introspection Guide at: 👉 www.taltsfany.com

I invite you to observe your emotions, name them, understand them, examine the premises behind them, and correct the ones that turn out to be irrational. That is how emotions become allies rather than obstacles in building a happy, deep, and meaningful life.