Left 4 Dead 2 – Versus

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This is hard-coded version of the standard Director with enhanced features — he generates various perks and rules the game at all! Join him and decide by yourself help me or not. Psycho Director will spawn all-existent perks, but mostly is 99% harmful. You can help me a little bit, using your helpful options from your menu, because he'll rarely spawn them.
And in additional, I'm trying my usual No Deaths challenge through the 14 campaigns alone in one go!

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Time Paradox — feature to slow the time for everyone but player. Gives an advantage. Transfers to the next map/campaign, if not fully used.
Get Up! — feature to survive the incap.
One Punch Man — feature to kill the enemy with 1 punch.
Jetpack — allows the player to fly. Help the streamer to survive, give him a Jetpack! Gives an advantage and fundamentally changes the gameplay. Also, player may refill and carry it entire campaign!

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Crazy Witch! — she will attack on spawn. Damage dealt is 50% divided.
Armageddon — summon the Armageddon on the map with random timer (15s min. and 180s max.). All donations will be sum up in a single timer.
SCP-173 — better to maintain the eye contact with this creature.
Spawn Tank — one donate = one Tank. Spawn location generated randomly, sometimes it can be saferoom even.
Turret — spawn hostile turrets next to the player.
C4 — spawn a bomb from Counter-Strike.
Spawn Specials — spawn special infected randomly.
Change Difficulty — change the difficulty to random one for a certain period.
Remove Items — remove random items/weapons from the inventory and map.
Uncanny — one random infected will become uncanny and make the player feel the mental disorder.
Surprise — yes, random in random. Director may call it, but the chance will be the same for all perks!
Silent Hill — deep mist and heavy bad trips. Works not fully on the finales! Also, player can partially decrease the perk's effect when enteres in the special rescue rooms or saferooms.
Zoo — spawn all Infected in one time. You'll see: 2 Tanks, 4 Witches, 5 Specials and 7 Uncommons.
Tanks Bhop — some Tanks (or all) will start bunnyhop.