Finding Community Outside of Mormonism - Chelsea & Nick Homer - Mormon Stories 1403

Chelsea and Nick Homer were both raised as devout Utah Mormons - with all the good and bad this entailed, and both were equally determined to have the perfect Mormon marriage and family.  After meeting at BYU and an extended, careful courtship, Chelsea and Nick were married in the Bountiful temple. Then their Mormon dream immediately began to fray.

Beginning with the wedding night/honeymoon, Chelsea and Nick experienced problems with sexual intimacy, due (in large part) to unhealthy messages they received around sexual "purity" and "modesty" as Mormon teens.  Then, a year into their marriage, Nick began to lose his testimony in the Mormon church - causing Nick and Chelsea to seriously contemplate divorce.

When it became clear that Nick was not going to perform the priesthood blessing for their their firstborn child, Chelsea and Nick decided to courageously post about their situation on her Instagram account, in part to defy the shaming and unhealthy rumors that so often accompany this situation within Mormonism (e.g., "Nick must be into PORN!"). This post was dated September 24, 2017.

Surprisingly to both Chelsea and Nick, a Public Relations employee for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints asked if Chelsea would write a post about this experience for the Church’s Instagram. This post (which can be found here: https://www.instagram.com/p/Be5eJdjFi...) is dated February 7, 2018, and to date has 58,947 "likes."  Later, the LDS Church PR department asked Chelsea to author an article about navigating her Mormon mixed-faith marriage as a believing wife. This heavily correlated article is entitled "Who Do I Choose - God or My Husband? - and was published by lds.org on July 25, 2018. (You can view this article here: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/i...)

After these social media posts, Chelsea and Nick immediately began receiving messages, emails, and phone calls from other young Mormon couples also experiencing faith crises and/or mixed-faith marriages.  To help provide support and community for all the young Mormon women who were struggling with faith crises, Chelsea formed on July 31, 2019 a Facebook group entitled "Faith Journey Meetups," which at present has over 2,000 members.  The description of this group is as follows:

Welcome! This is a meetup hub for women who are actively navigating their personal faith journeys anywhere along the LDS belief spectrum. Come, make friends, schedule get-togethers. This is a safe place to find support and turn internet acquaintances into real life friends.

Eventually, Chelsea also lost her faith in the Mormon church, and today Nick and Chelsea are navigating a life of healing, growth, and joy after Mormonism.

This is their story.

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00:00:00 - Chelsea’s background
00:22:14 - Nick’s background
00:33:30 - Nick’s mission
00:39:40 - Patriarchal blessings & their influence
00:43:52 - Chelsea & Nick’s Stories Converge
00:44:27 - BYU
00:50:37 - Dating & thoughts of marriage at BYU
01:01:03 - Temple experience
01:03:15 - Engagement
01:06:20 - Marriage, intimacy, & planning a family
01:33:51 - Nick begins to question the gospel
01:32:27 - Chelsea’s perspective on Nick’s faith crisis
01:51:10 - “Faith Again” meet-ups
01:57:42 - Fears of leaving the church
02:00:13 - Telling family & friends
02:26:01 - First child & baby blessing
02:29:00 - Chelsea is asked by the church to be a social media influencer for LDS mixed-faith couples
02:31:21 - Pros & cons of participating in the PR campaign
02:47:17 - Patriarchy in the church
02:53:59 - Began “Faith Journey Meetups” Facebook page
03:01:52 - Effect of social media on the church
03:05:43 - Garments
03:06:47 - Gender roles & the “Proclamation to the Family”
03:19:38 - Chelsea officially steps away the church
03:23:18 - Finding beauty in life without belief in God
03:27:11 - Resources that helped them
03:32:48 - Closing remarks

#mormon #mixedfaithmarriage #faithcrisis