Catastrophic Thinking: Why its Dangerous & How to Deal With Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings

I’m currently fighting advanced cancer and your support helps me keep going physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Thank you.
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My name is Noah Thomas, and my story is one of surviving, healing, and continuing to fight.
Back on May 18, 2011, I had a rare and devastating reaction to the medication Vivitrol, which triggered severe suicidal depression, depersonalization, and relentless anxiety. Within just four weeks, I lost 25 pounds and spent the next eight weeks in a state of constant panic and unbearable depression. I could no longer work and had to move back in with my parents for 24/7 care due to being a danger to myself.

After hospitalization and countless treatments, SSRIs, SNRIs, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, holistic therapies, and even RTMS (shock therapy), I experienced only minimal relief for more than a year.

Eventually, blood tests revealed extremely low testosterone levels (150–200 ng/dL, compared to an average of around 750 ng/dL for a 25-year-old male). That discovery changed everything. I was diagnosed with hypogonadism and began Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT) under medical supervision. Slowly, I started to rebuild my mind, body, and life.

Over the past decade, I’ve worked tirelessly to regain stability, physically, mentally, and emotionally. My YouTube channel grew out of that journey: sharing honest conversations about mental health, healing, and personal growth.

More recently, I was diagnosed with advanced cancer, adding another chapter to this ongoing fight. I’m sharing my story publicly again through videos, updates, and conversations, to stay connected, stay hopeful, and maybe help someone else facing their own impossible moment.