Half in the Bag: Presence (And the Current State of Movie Theaters)

Tell me about it! It's Presence! The new film from retired director Steven Soderbergh! But by the time THIS review comes out he will have had a new film already! Finally! Morbidly Obese Midwest Mike™ and Jamaica Jerk Chicken Jay™ review a film that many have slandered as lame and boring because they have to watch it. Or because it's a ghost movie with no loud creep-out™ sounds. Certainly a lacking of spooky clowns. A horror film where a camera man walks around the house and films people talking in rooms. Every so often something shakes or a crazy 90's skateboard kid tries to roofie someone (must have watched too many episodes of The Cosby Show!) or Lucy Lu is doing shady shit on her laptop, having an affair, or belittling ghosts. That sullen daughter is moping about while the Dad who seemingly has no job but to tell painters what to paint and where. How does these weirdos afford this nice ass house with no jobs and poor paint choice? That sweet kitchen island tho. Nice appliances. Plumbing might need work and same with mechanical. Bet the furnace is over 15 at least. Anyway, eventually these clowns move into their house and the daughter feels a presences from her closet like a kid feels a candy store. Watching the Asian girl sleep, shower, do homework all from inside that closet, my bet was on Woody Allen, but no it was ghost. Dad says, "tell me about ghost" mom says, "You're crazy. Be more like your douche bag brother and stop being a little brat". Did them painters finish the job or what? Who was in cars driving by? But either a case, a ghost lurks around and we don't know why until the very very end. Kind of like how we discovered why Bill Cosby was always lurking about the Benadryl aisle until the very end. Sad.