Badly Translated Ancient History

I translated Wikipedia's timeline of Ancient History from 160 thousand years ago all the way to the roman empire using languages with terrible translation quality, this was the result.

MUSIC:
Ashurbanipal Peace - Civilization 5
Axis Theme - Hearts of Iron 4
Balrog Stage - Street Fighter 2
Ancient Era - Civilization 4
Brazil - Rise of Nations
Lavos Theme - Chrono Trigger
Darius Peace - Civilization 5
Join Avenue - Pokemon Black & White 2
Alexander Peace - Civilization 5