Bryan & Vinny review TNA iMPACT! March 2009

This month: Foley owes his entire career to Sting and has Brent Kremin writing his promos for him. The women's multi tag matches are horrible and they never make sense. Samoa Joe arrests AJ Styles dressed as a cop. Tenay defends theft and violence. Abyss can't figure out Tom and Jerry. Cornette strips Booker of the Legends Championship for TNA management. Morgan challenges Abyss to a 10000 thumbtack match. TNA spends the last segment of the go home iMPACT! building up Jarrett. Angle was all over the show the week he was meant to be suspended and backs down to Foley. Jenna Morasca from Survivor in 2003 debuts on iMPACT! Don West shows up late, reeking of booze and points out how fucking boring iMPACT! is. They have peaked. Madison Rayne joins the Beautiful People. AJ and Booker is annouced with 3 days build. Eric Young asks Sting to have a 45 minute draw with him. The Beautiful People remove their ass entrance and Cute Kip clears the ring with perfume. Rocco with Angle against Eric Young with Sting. Bryan gets angry at how bad Destination X is. ODB chooses Cody Deaner during One Night with ODB. Bryan emails Comcast asking for a refund. Samoa Joe is clinically obese and pale. AJ wins the Legends Championship. Beer Money gets counted out on PPV in a No DQ match. Daniels is Suicide. Sting beats Angle and retains his title. Nash is jealous that Sting isn't paying him enough attention. Jarrett is moved by Foley wanting to have fun. Cody Deaner has his mullet and moustache. Cute Kip is put on probation. The Governor is Daffney (RIP). Joe tortures the much smaller Sheik. D-Von's forehead is disgusting. Sting cannot win. Everything Don West says is true. Jenna contributes nothing. Angle can't find Jarrett anywhere. Why did TNA get rid of Team 3D's retirement stipulation? A 20 man gauntlet match in a cage. Angle achieves his goal and loses his mind.