Sonder - What You Heard | SLOWED & REVERB

Brent Faiyaz has taught me a lot about both relationships and myself. His lyrics always feel brutally honest but deeply complicated and nuanced. People label him as toxic and maybe he is, but then aren't we all? We're all complicated and surely at some point we've all been (or will be) the bad guy in someone's story.

This one is about a guy who doesn't want to give up his lifestyle but also doesn't want to just let the girl go. He doesn't necessarily WANT to hurt her, but he still wants her, knowing he's no good for her. Hell - he even tells her that if she wants something serious, she should wait in line. LOL. He goes back and forth on his feelings throughout the whole song. Is his indecision driven by love? Lust? Possession? Ego?... It's probably a fucked up mixture of all the above.

He teases her with lust. But rejects her with ego. Draws her in with shallow promises. Judges her decision-making... Somehow, she can do no better than him, though he is no position to provide her anything meaningful - only a position in the roster, material gain and sex. He shits on her current man while offering to try to do better, if she gives him what he wants.

As a woman what is she meant to make of all of this? In the rose-tinted shades that are naivety, lust and love, it would be hard to see beyond the shit deal he's offering. He sings it so smoothly and offers it so plainly, you feel like you should accept it. But all it is, is a shit deal. If someone is a good enough salesman, you'll buy spray-painted peanuts, thinking they're nuggets of gold. But it's just an artful scam.

I love Brent because he makes me see my own flaws. I've come to see the wrongs I've done to others... The empty promises. Dangling carrots because I was scared to be truly alone. We all have those tendencies given the opportunity. It doesn't make us bad people because we do inconsiderate things. As long as we learn and try to not hurt people in the future. On a deeper level, I've learnt that just because someone may have hurt me, it doesn't make them a bad person. They may have done a shitty thing, but they are more than that. Just as I am. Just as we all are.

Love and enjoy x