From compromise to collaborative love by Monica Tanner

Timestamps:
00:00:00 — Marriage is a people-growing machine—so why does it scare us?
00:01:44 — Singles choosing lifelong independence… until their late 30s hit differently.
00:05:29 — Your partner doesn’t complete your wounds—they trigger them so you can heal.
00:08:49 — Marriage is risky—yet it holds joys you cannot access alone.
00:12:57 — Collaboration beats compromise—stop keeping score, start creating together.
00:16:48 — Understanding your partner’s perspective dissolves resentment instantly.
00:20:40 — Shift from ‘me’ to ‘we’—the smallest change that transforms everything.
00:26:48 — You don’t need someone to complete you—bring your whole self to love.
00:31:32 — Respectful disagreement is more important than compatibility.
00:40:57 — Sexual expectations must be discussed—not discovered—after marriage.

What if the real problem in love isn’t lack of effort—it’s following the wrong playbook? In this energizing, no-fluff conversation, host Pulkit Garg (Founder, Aanya Wellness) sits down with Monica Tanner—RLT-trained Relationship Coach and host of Secrets of Happily Ever After—to challenge the clichés that quietly drain intimacy and joy.

Monica calls marriage a “people-growing machine”—powerful, a little scary, and absolutely worth it. Together, we unpack why popular advice like “compromise,” “never go to bed angry,” “happy wife, happy life,” and “find someone who completes you” can backfire, leading to scorekeeping, resentment, and distance. Instead, Monica lays out how to shift from compromise to collaboration: getting curious about each other’s positions, naming real needs, and co-creating solutions neither partner could reach alone.

You’ll hear practical, compassionate guidance for:
Stopping chronic compromise without guilt—by setting clear, loving boundaries.
Breaking cycles of blame and defensiveness with emotional honesty and repair.
Getting more of what you truly want—even when it feels vulnerable to ask.
-Navigating modern myths shaped by media, patriarchy, and “perfect match” fantasies.
Talking about sexual compatibility—what to discuss, and how to create a safe container (with or without premarital intimacy).

Whether you’re dating, newly married, or decades in, this episode offers mindset shifts and simple scripts to replace roommate syndrome with real connection. Expect humor, real-world examples, and a fresh vision of partnership where two whole people build a life that feels expansive—together.

Guest bio: Monica Tanner is an RLT-trained Relationship Coach and author of Bad Marriage Advice. Through her podcast, coaching, and vibrant community, she helps couples ditch resentment and rebuild communication, connection, conflict resolution, and commitment.

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