How to Finally Feel Safe in Your Relationships with Jessica Baum

Why don’t we always feel safe in love, even with people we care about most?

In this episode of The Sensitivity Doctor Podcast, Dr. Amelia Kelley sits down with psychotherapist and author Jessica Baum, creator of Anxiously Attached and Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building Secure Relationships.

Jessica explains how our early experiences shape the way we connect, love, and regulate our emotions. She introduces her groundbreaking Wheel of Attachment and reveals how attachment styles shift depending on who we’re with and how safe we feel.

Together, Amelia and Jessica unpack:

✔️The real difference between anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment
✔️Why neglect can wound deeper than abuse
✔️How trauma lives in the nervous system—and how to rewire it
✔️Why highly sensitive people often become anxious attachers
✔️Practical ways to create safety and healing in your relationships

If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I keep repeating these patterns?” or “How can I finally feel secure in love?” — this episode is for you.

👇 Timestamps
00:00 – Welcome and introduction to Jessica Baum
01:30 – What inspired Safe and how it continues the work of Anxiously Attached
03:00 – Understanding the Wheel of Attachment
06:00 – Why neglect can be more harmful than abuse
09:00 – The “blank stare” and how disconnection impacts the nervous system
12:00 – How our caregivers shape our regulation and sense of safety
14:00 – Adult relationships and repeating attachment patterns
16:00 – Why we’re drawn to narcissistic or emotionally unavailable partners
19:00 – Healing anxious-avoidant dynamics in relationships
22:00 – How co-regulation builds safety
26:00 – Nervous system activation and the “fight, flight, or freeze” cycle in couples
29:00 – Left vs. right hemisphere: how your brain affects connection
30:00 – Understanding disorganized attachment and “pockets” of fear
33:00 – Sensitivity, empathy, and attachment
37:00 – Why narcissism stems from early wounding
40:00 – The science of healing: what your body needs to feel safe
42:00 – How to access Jessica’s free resources and connect with her

Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:
🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com
📸 Instagram:   / drameliakelley  
👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn:   / drameliakelley  

#AttachmentTheory
#RelationshipHealing
#EmotionalSafety