Boundaries and Emotional Warfare. How We Come to Fear Setting Boundaries in a Narcissistic Family.

A boundary can be defined as a barrier which separates two things. Healthy psychological boundaries between people mean that there is respect for others and the self and the beliefs, ideas, opinions, likes, dislikes and wants and needs of all parties.

A psychologically healthy person is aware that they do not have rights or ownership over another. Healthy boundaries create mutual trust.

In narcissistic families, when a child attempts to assert their boundaries they will be punished and come to learn that it is safer not to set a boundary.

In Joost Meerloo's book The Rape of the Mind, he discusses life in the land of 'Totalitaria' (a dictatorship) and how the citizens are affected by living under that kind of regime.

I read some excerpts from the book and make comparisons to living under the rule of a narcissist.

The function of the scapegoat in totalitarian societies makes interesting reading/listening.

What is a boundary?
01.32 Struggling to assert boundaries
02.37 Joost Meerloo – brief biography
04.09 The similarities between a narcissistic family and a totalitarian state
06.44 Boundaries
07.20 Rigid boundaries
08.21 Porous boundaries
09.21 Healthy Boundaries
10.04 Types of boundaries
11.03 More examples of unhealthy boundaries
12.10 Enmeshment with the narcissistic parent/s
12.45 The child’s reaction to invasion/domination
13.17 Joost Meerloo – the totalitarian state quotes
13.33 Fear of expulsion from the system
14.39 Loss of a sense of self
16.39 Being watched and scapegoatism
19.07 Denial of reality
20.31 How does the leader maintain his power?
21.37 Totalitarian terror
22.38 Enemies of the regime and of ourselves
24.22 Fear, guilt and scapegoats
25.45 The frailty of empathy
26.27 Slander, smear campaigns
28.47 The need to belong
30.45 The demagogue is almost incapable of humour
32.06 The impossibility of combatting ravings with logic
34.41 Feigning, fainting defences
36.23 Looking for weakness in others
37.49 Controlling parents
38.43 A conforming and submissive child
39.16 The child supresses his instinctual needs
40.29 Repeating patterns of suppressing needs in adulthood
42.57 Pre-verbal communication with mother
44.11 Effects of a weak or no father figure
44.22 Punishment for non-conformity and dissent
46.22 Self-betrayal as a survival mechanism
47.35 Fear and terror
48.29 ‘Joining’ the enemy
49.14 Motivations of traitors
50.38 Who resists longer and why?
52.56 Know your enemy
53.28 Thought crimes
54.09 Submission or rebellion
54.53 Achieving freedom
57.08 Healing and setting boundaries

https://childrenofnarcissists.org.uk/...
https://childrenofnarcissists.org.uk/