Shadows In The Dark - I Want To Shut My Mind 🤐 (LYCRIS VIDEO) N.o 46

✦✦✦✦✦ SHADOWS IN THE DARK ✦✦✦✦✦
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LYCRIS

I can’t stand myself anymore
Sick of who I am
Sick to the core
I'm reaching that limit again
Teetering on the edge of pain

I want to break
To bleed
To fall
Smash my fist through the fucking wall
Let the blood drip down in peace
But this time
No one sees

What’s the point?
What do I gain?
Is there comfort in this pain?
I just want to fade
To erase
Start again in another place
Change my name
Rewrite my past
Burn this life down to ash
It's hard to want what I can't touch
Impossible dreams hurt too much

I’m tired of being this broken man
Tired of doing all I can
Trapped inside a mind I hate
Fighting thoughts I didn’t create
I scream inside but make no sound
No peace
No calm
Nowhere bound.
What do I have but this shell?
A soul that’s walked through every hell

I want to vanish
Just be gone
Forget who I’ve been all along
No more memories
No more lies
No more pain behind my eyes

I'm not looking for pity or praise
Just silence for these fucking days
Because I’m tired of this fucking mess
Tired of me
And nothing less

X2
I scream in silence
No one hears
Drowning in a flood of years
Carved my pain into my skin
But no one asks what burns within
If I vanish
Would they cry?
Or just breathe easier
Let me die?
I'm a ghost before I'm gone
Still breathing
But all hope is gone

Woke up again
Same war in my chest
Another night where I got no rest
Thoughts screaming louder than sound
But I smile so they don’t look down
I walk like I’m fine, like I’m strong
But I’ve been breaking for so damn long
Tired of lying
Tired of the game
Tired of carrying all this shame

Every mirror shows a stranger's face
Lost in time
Lost in place
I tear at the seams just to feel
To remind myself this pain is real
I punch the wall until I bleed
Is it pain or just a desperate need?
To feel something besides this void
To drown the noise I can't avoid
My past is a ghost that won’t let go
It follows me everywhere I go
I’d trade this name
This soul
This skin
To feel like I belong again
Why am I wired this way inside?
Why do I always want to hide?
I keep destroying who I could be
Just to punish the broken me

Don’t tell me “it gets better” soon
That hope shit left my room
I just want quiet in my head
Even if that means I’m dead
But I won’t lie
I still hold on
To a thread that feels almost gone
And if someone ever sees my eyes
They’ll know I’ve lived a thousand lies

I want to bleed
I want to shut my mind
Don’t want to think anymore
Just leave it behind

I want the suicide
To end this damn depression
But deep inside
I crave a different confession
I’m torn apart
Yet I want to keep on living
I’ve got this fire
Still burning
Still forgiving
This pain won’t stop
It's louder every day
But I won’t let it take my soul away
I’m writing these words
Just to feel something real
I’ll kill this feeling
Break the pain I feel