Breaking News from Larry, The Downing Street Cat - 2 arrested over theft of jewels at Louvre.

I can report — with the quiet satisfaction of a professional doing his duty — that my recent sighting of one of those so-called cat burglars (a term I’ve always found rather offensive, frankly) has helped the French police round up several members of the gang. You might say my sharp eyes and keen sense of justice have once again saved civilisation, or at least the Louvre.

Two suspects, I’m told, have now been arrested in connection with the theft of some rather sparkly crown jewels from the Louvre in Paris — which, incidentally, is a marvellous place if you enjoy queuing, selfies, or getting lost in rooms named after people you’ve never heard of. According to Le Parisien, both men hail from Seine-Saint-Denis, a suburb that sounds as if it ought to come with its own accordion soundtrack. One of them, in a dramatic twist that would make Agatha Christie purr with approval, was apprehended just as he was about to board a flight from Charles de Gaulle Airport.

The heist itself, I gather, was conducted in broad daylight — which feels terribly inconsiderate to those of us who do our best work after dark. Four thieves armed with power tools broke into the museum and helped themselves to treasures of “inestimable value,” though I suspect the insurance company has tried to estimate them all the same.

Still, all’s well that ends well. I’ll be expecting my medal from the Élysée any day now, preferably accompanied by a saucer of cream and a warm spot by the radiator.

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