Will Varley - 'Talking Cat Blues' (Official video)

Following previous song 'The Man Who Fell To Earth' - 'Talking Cat Blues' is taken from the forthcoming album 'Postcards From Ursa Minor' released on 30th October 2015 on Xtra Mile Recordings.
Pre order links here. XMR: http://smarturl.it/WV-Postards_XMR

On tour supporting Frank Turner in November 2015:
05 Llandudno Venue Cymru
06 Southampton Guildhall SOLD OUT
07 Southampton Guildhall SOLD OUT
09 Falmouth Princess Pavilion SOLD OUT
10 Falmouth Princess Pavilion SOLD OUT
13 Glasgow Barrowland SOLD OUT
14 Newcastle University SOLD OUT
15 Nottingham Rock City SOLD OUT
16 Nottingham Rock City
18 Birmingham Academy SOLD OUT
19 Sheffield Academy SOLD OUT
21 Bristol Colston Hall SOLD OUT
22 Bristol Colston Hall SOLD OUT
23 Manchester Academy SOLD OUT
24 Manchester Academy
26 London Alexandra Palace

Video by Sam King
www.samkingfilm.com

Lyrics to 'Talking Cat Blues':
Last night when I couldn't sleep
I was scrolling through my newsfeed
Reading everyone's crap and watching viral videos
I was looking at some wedding photographs,
I looked at them for an hour and a half,
Till I realised they were all of people I didn't know.

My girlfriend got up for work,
She looked at me like I was dirt,
She said "You're lazy, you're ruining my life and you're getting fat"
She said "I know you want to spend another day in bed,
But I need you take the cat to the vet,
And I'm leaving you and I'm never coming back"

As she slammed the door I shouted back
"What's the problem with the cat?"

Well I got out of bed, emptied the tank,
Went downstairs in my pants,
And the cat was sitting at the breakfast bar
Drinking my gin, playing my guitar,
Smoking my cigars, wearing my bra, singing Kanye West songs,
He was singing "I'm so great yes it's true,
I'm so great and I'm better than you,
And I am essentially a god"

Well I videoed the cat, put it on YouTube,
Within half an hour we had a million views,
I called it 'Seven Things That Cats Can Do That Really Will Blow Your Mind'
Around about then the telephone rang,
It doesn't ring for long so I ran,
But I tripped up on an empty bottle of Gin.

I grazed my knees tumbling down,
Smashed my head on the ground,
With the last little energy in my bones,
Reached out to pick up the phone, and a voice on the other line said...
"Have you had a trip or fall in the last six months that wasn't your fault?”
I said "Yes, yes I have"
Then I said "My girlfriends just left me,
Do you want to go to Burger King with me some time?"
Then she hung up.

Well the telephone rang for a second time,
And a man's voice on the other line said
"I've seen your cat, I’m gonna make him a star"
Yeh he needs a haircut and some singing lessons,
But he does a great Kanye West impression,
I can put his song on an advert selling a car"

Well we made a lot of money and we had an affair,
At one point we were like Sonny and Cher
But that cat got hooked on powdered milk.
One night we were drinking in a dead end bar,
when a guy came over with his guitar,
Said "You're that cat I've seen on the Internet, sing me a song you little pussy."

Well the cat went into swing a punch,
But the other guy must've had spinach for lunch,
'cus he through that little cat across the room.
He grazed his paws on the ground,
He smashed his head tumbling down,
I rung up the insurance company there and then,
Said my cats had a trip or fall in the last 6 months that wasn't his fault"
And a voice said "Sorry no win, no felines.”

Then David Cameron came walking by,
As he often does in these songs of mine,
He was helping the poor, trying to stop the war
Saving the NHS, being honest about the nature of the west
I made a video, put it on YouTube
Called it ‘4 Things David Cameron Could Do That’ll Blow Your Mind’

But the comments section got out of hand
Everyone arguing religion and land
Ended up being the cause of world war three
And that war got worse and in no time
Gunshots rang out through the night
And the soldiers all came marching by
And the atom bombs fell from the sky
And as we were engulfed by the flames, that little cat looked up at me
Said “This is one thing human beings will do that’ll blow your mind”


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