Why We Don't Know What We Want | mahmood moghaddasi | TEDxIsfahan University of Technology

Why is desire so confusing—and why do many of us spend a lifetime chasing the wrong things? Psychologist Moghadasi uncovers the hidden forces that shape our wants, from childhood to adulthood. His talk reframes self-discovery as an honest, ongoing process rather than a single moment of clarity. Moghadasi explores one of the most intricate questions in psychology: how our desires are formed and why so many of us spend a lifetime searching for what we truly want. Drawing from clinical insight, he outlines five forces that shape desire, beginning with our earliest physical needs and expanding outward to the impact of the “other” — the caregiver whose own unfulfilled wishes subtly guide a child’s developing sense of self. As we grow, the comforting pull of the pleasure principle collides with the constraints of reality, a tension that intensifies during adolescence. Moghadasi describes how unresolved desires, inner conflicts, and the defense mechanisms we build to survive can create lifelong patterns of confusion. By tracing this journey from infancy to adulthood, he invites listeners to view self-discovery not as a moment of revelation, but as an ongoing process that requires honesty, awareness, and patience. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx