consensus ~ quadeca {slowed+reverb}

lyrics:
think i've got a consensus, bein' lost in the trenches
adolescent lessons expressin' God's job is to tempt us
makin' it hard to stay alive, it's so easy to die
makin' you hang your head low, but say “reach for the skies”
life is a walkin' contradiction, i've seen through its lies
i'm just tryna tell the stories i've seen through its eyes
i feel i'm forcin' and feedin' off of reasons to cry
with all this fake deep bullsh*t, i'm too eager to try
everybody sendin' blessings in need of reply
tryna sell they own tears, 'fore they bleed and they dry
f*ck your demons inside, i'm in need of the “why?”
so i can summarize my life through breathin' and sigh
like, oh well, i can say that i tried, yeah
hopped in this life and then i stayed for the ride
so many beautiful faces, but they vacant inside
and i'm just patiently waitin' for the day i decide, yeah
this reminds me of days when i drink in L.A.
i'm screamin' “hi” to the sky, out with a smile on my face
now i'm hidin' my face, i keep tryin' to trace
all of the steps that i had taken to findin' my place
swept out to oceans so lonely, waves feel like an embrace
and now i'm lookin' at my mic like it's sent as a prophet (yeah)
i used to be an atheist, but that turned me agnostic (ahaha, yeah)
recently, i've been wonderin' if i've f*ckin' lost it
see my friends from kindergarten go to rehab
that's the type of sh*t that makes you think back
to simpler times, blissfully ignorant minds
before reality could ground us, we would live in the skies
and as a— and as a kid, i never thought i'd be bein' like this (nah)
and as a kid, i never thought this would even exist (nah)
i felt elusive, intangible, just steam in the mist
and now i'm wakin' up feelin' i ain't even this sh*t
you only look at what you got once you see that it's lost
and life's too gradual for me to believe in my sauce
don't understand rappers braggin', “i got that paper on me”
man, i got kids in schools who doin' presentations on me
so what the f*ck you really value take that from me?
to me, i'll take that over Rollies and makin' some money
rain or sunny, i'ma do this every day, i study
and write these lyrics till my brain is fuzzy, d*mn
like Tyler, Creator tweets, i just capitalize
these Romans tally up my hits with the capital ‘i’s
this is a natural high
i seen it comin' from afar, i'm still actin' surprised, but i ain't mastered the skies
i wrote this album so much passion, i actually cried
they think 'cause i was never trappin', my rap is a lie
they think 'cause i'm an awkward kid, i'm invalid
as DJ Khaled's son receivin' a platinum plaque for bein' alive
threw out half of my album, it wasn't good enough
sh*t, i mean, it still isn't good enough
i'm like an active volcano, i know i could erupt
but i guess i am not full enough (yeah)
i swear, the higher you get, that's the lower you feel
man, that's more sh*t you gotta do, or you won't get a deal
man, that's more sh*t you gotta prove so they know it's real
thirty seconds of listenin', thinking you know how i feel
yeah, this a motherf*ckin' thesis statement
came a long way, i cannot be complacent
every day i wake up stressed, i have to be the greatest
and if not, then that's a day i truly feel i've wasted
most of the pressure on my shoulders is comin' from me
so when i die, i know i left us with somethin' to leave
so when i wake up every mornin' with somewhere to be
d*mn...

[outro]
...i got so much sh*t i've—
—got—i've...
i've got somethin' to see? i don't f*ckin' know, man
sh*t
hope that sounded genuine
because i meant it