Why You Choose People Who Leave

You don’t accidentally pick people who can’t stay. You’re drawn to them—the ones who flicker, who promise but don’t land, who make you feel like if you just try harder, they’ll finally see you. And when they leave, you don’t rage. You ask what you did wrong.

This reflection is for the ones who feel safest in uncertain love, who learned early that attention arrives in flashes and disappears just as fast, who’ve mistaken the familiar ache of almosts for the real thing. If you keep choosing people who leave, you’re not broken—you’re trying to rewrite an old ending.

We explore why abandonment can feel like home, how intermittent love hooks harder than steady presence, the difference between chemistry and trauma recognition, and what it takes to choose someone who stays—even when staying feels foreign and frightening.

You’re not addicted to pain. You’re addicted to the hope that this time, if you’re good enough, they won’t go.
But healing starts when you stop auditioning for people who’ve already left the room.

From chasing to choosing.
From familiar to safe.

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