one second a day for a year ミ★ 2025

we back in mass ..

some highlights:
graduating & winning a stat award at graduation - my mark has officially been left on the department. four years of college math classes taught me that math = love
meeting the harvard girls
harvard wasn’t my top program, but i feel so so lucky that i get to go to grad school for free and not be stuck in a phd to get it LOL. ngl the quality of the education here did not match my expectations so good thing im not paying for this errr. but boston’s alright i guess
LIVING NEXT TO AI VY IS SO FUN I LOVE BOTHERING HER ALL THE TIME AND USING ALL HER MEAL SWIPES AHAHHA
husky 100 when i saw that as a freshman i told myself i was gonna be on that webpage before i graduated and i actually did it
san diego, just a perfect trip
unemployed summer, just eating ice cream w ai vy and travelling to the west coast. last fun summer fr. ready to be an intern again next summer i guess ugh
running in boston is so easy, love bu and harvard bridge

(not so) brief reflections:
you know that feeling when you’re in the trenches and working so much but aren’t sure when the results or payoff will show…well i think they finally showed and i couldn’t be more grateful. feeling very lucky (holy need for external validation…really gotta work on that)

i think comparing the videos i took in seattle vs boston, the boston ones look fun or like more exciting? idk but tbh i feel like life here is so fucking boring. and i guess seattle life was a bit boring too but more so boring in a peaceful, comfortable, routine way. i miss that constant calmness and feeling of being on top of everything i had all of senior year (and never had the other 3 years of college), like it really took 3 years for me to feel fully adjusted to undergrad life. it just felt so stable finally and i loved having that sense of stability for once, it was a good boring. boston boring is like an unpleasant and stressed out and never having anything to look forward to boring idk if that makes any sense LOL. maybe im just not adjusted to grad school life (but im already like 25% done so better get adjusted soon). crazy to think that sometimes i really miss seattle bc for a not insignificant amount of time, i was very much ready to get out of there

2025 reminds me of 2023 in the sense that things ended up being really quite alright even though in the moment it felt like everything was crumbling sometimes. like spring was such a high. when i was getting into grad school, winning awards, seeing my mentees getting into cool things, and going to sd w the at the time boyfriendish as i was about to graduate, it just felt like everything had fallen into place and all the puzzle pieces needed to complete my college journey had been put together. but then grad school started and holy shit, i genuinely would think some days, am i ever gonna feel in control of my life again?? but alas, it all started to fall into place — the way it always does. i was workinggg crazy from aug to nov, it was so unsustainable, but it actually paid off despite me being so worried that it wouldn’t. some time in fall, i came to this realization that life is all about local optima, like you’re never gonna find the global maximum, in school, in employment, in love, etc. you inevitably have to settle, it’s just knowing when to stop searching for another optimum that’s the hard part. like at some point, the amount of effort is just not worth the small amount of incremental gain you might get, but idk if this is really a healthy mindset to have LOL. anyway, feeling more like a real adult w a possible idea of what my future could entail. 22 now…wtf

i would say 2025 was the year of falling in love (even though we broke up LOL). earlier this year, i literally wrote something along the lines of, “how do you know when it changes from liking someone to loving them?” but then that actually happened to me and holy shit it was such a clear and vivid moment and wow…what a feeling. i hope i get to feel it again one day lol. very grateful for our good times, i’ll always look fondly on those memories. seeing the videos i took when we were together doesn't really make me sad, just more like awww. to know (and love i guess ew) someone that deeply is such a rare thing that happens only a few times in any lifetime, if at all, and i feel really lucky to have shared that with the person i did. i’m so happy i got to feel that happy, when it was happy, but it ended at the right time. a small part of me will always care a big amount for you

shoutout to the girls i met week 1 at harvard (can’t believe we survived fall 25 lol), my sis, val, my little & big, ny, and uw stat

fav clips: 1/27/25, 4/28/25, 6/29/25, 9/20/25, 11/20/25, 11/22/25, 12/1/25

ending 2025 w a very very full heart

love always & infinitely,
bh

music:
lukrembo - apricity
lukrembo - snow
lukrembo - boba tea

0:00 jan
0:38 feb
1:07 mar
1:42 apr
2:14 may
2:48 jun
3:21 jul
3:55 aug
4:29 sep
5:01 oct
5:34 nov
6:05 dec