The Crisis of Masculinity: Where Are Men Learning About Sex?

In this episode of The Purple Playroom, hosts WolfLikeRoss and Kathy Malejane sit down with artist, pastor, and founder of ManUp Men Talk Global, VS Cufflins, for one of the most important and honest conversations about men, masculinity, intimacy, spirituality, and the breakdown of sexual education in Botswana.

The conversation opens with a critical question: Where do men fit in the ecosystem of intimacy? VS argues that men are not being spoken to, guided, or built — even though they are still expected to lead in relationships, families, and society. He explains how spirituality, structure, and emotional development are deeply tied to how men show up in intimacy.

The episode explores how broken families, lack of guidance, pornography, peers, social media, and silence shape how men learn about sex. The hosts also bring in street interviews collected by producer Masa, revealing that many people first learned about sex through porn, clueless peers, or even traumatic experiences — not from trusted adults.

VS shares why intimacy is spiritual, how sexual encounters create emotional and spiritual entanglement, and why casual sex affects people far more deeply than they realise. He discusses the role of modesty, boundaries, mentorship, and self-development, and highlights the danger of lust-driven decision-making in a society that no longer treats intimacy as sacred.

Key Highlights:

Why VS believes “nobody is fighting for men”
How men lose structure when raised without spiritual or emotional guidance
Why intimacy is spiritual first, not just physical
The effect of broken homes and absent communication on boys
How girls are taught about sex through fear, while boys learn through ego
The rise of porn as the main educator — and how it distorts intimacy
Why casual sex creates emotional and spiritual entanglement
The importance of self-reflection, self-development, and emotional intelligence
How men can rebuild moral structure and healthy masculinity
Why relationships fail when communication becomes reactive instead of reflective
Why both genders mirror trauma, poor habits, and broken patterns

VS also speaks about his movement ManUp Men Talk Global, which focuses on mentoring boys and men, restoring positive masculinity, and building healthier families and communities.

This episode is a deep, structured, and necessary conversation about men, intimacy, responsibility, spirituality, and how we rebuild the moral fabric of relationships.