Retroactive Jealousy TRIGGERS - How Should You Handle Them?

Retroactive Jealousy Cure - Exposure To Your Triggers

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In this video I will share with you my take on triggers! Should you be exposing yourself to them or avoiding them? I'll talk about what books and the internet say and how I feel about it in my own life. By the end of the video, you should have a pretty good idea on where you stand between exposing or avoiding your triggers!

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Hey everyone its Matt! If you need a translation for Shakespearian language… In this video I am going to be talking to you about Retroactive Jealousy TRIGGERS. Triggers are of course any type of thought… word… place… name… anything! that sets off a painful highly charged response within you. I’m sure there’s a professional reason for them to called triggers but I believe its because its like puling the trigger and making what feels like a gun go off inside of you! I know for me… my rj would get triggered nearly 25 hours a day. Everything I’d do would trigger my RJ and the anxious response. Even if my girlfriend cooked me a beautiful dinner I would get triggered thinking “I bet she did this before with her ex… I bet this isn’t special for her at all… she probably did it all the time”. I’d even get triggered during sex thinking she’s already done this with someone else. If I ever found out the name of an ex lover.. anytime I’d hear that name I’d get triggered. I’m sure you have your own triggers that set you off that come to mind….But there is an interesting debate going on in the world of Retroactive Jealousy about triggers. Some people say you should AVOID being triggered and work on yourself instead… others say to face you triggers head on and deal with them to overcome RJ fast and then you can work on yourself later when these thoughts no longer bother you. I’m going to give you my personal take on triggers and how I went about using them to my advantage in my own life. So by the end of this video you should have a good idea moving forward of how you want to approach your own triggers in your life making it easier for you to finally overcome retroactive jealousy. .So in the RJ world there tends to be a minor debate about Retroactive Jealousy triggers. In one of the books on Rj that I read it says to Take an inventory of your triggers. Think about which people, situations, places, films, songs, etc. trigger jealous thoughts and anxiety, and how you can minimize your exposure to them….. in goes on to say t's better to avoid them. So this author says to avoid them as much as you can… but in another book about Rj another author sys We should expose ourselves to triggers and Over time, doing this actually rewires the brain’s neuropathic network, so it eventually re-routes away from triggering the anxious response. Like exposing yourself to any fear, it takes time and slow exposure but it works. So then I went online and looked around and found on article on Medium that said, If you avoid movies, songs, places, people with certain names, etc., you are less likely to recover. You will run into those places everywhere.Don’t avoid it. So who is right? Who is wrong? What’s the answer? So here’s what I’ll tell you from my own research… which was about 30 minutes or so.. full disclosure. I could only find one instance of someone recommending to avoid triggers. Everything else I read said to treat RJ like OCD and never hide from your triggers. Instead allow them to come in and deal with them as they come. And honestly….I cannot agree more with this statement and this was about 99% of me overcoming RJ was facing my triggers and those horrible thoughts head on. Not hiding from them at all. I would let them in… I would feel the pain… and then I’d refocus my attention back on what I was doing… I didn’t explore the thought… I didn’t ask questions.. I didn’t do any type of compulsive behavior… I just felt the pain and refocused. Every time you do this and not get wrapped up in the thought, you are telling your brain there is no danger in thinking these thoughts and eventually it will stop releasing so much adrenaline into your system. Remember it snot the thought that bothers you… its the feeling that bothers you. If the feeling is gone.. the thought will go in one side of your mind and right out the other without aa fuss. And one of the main reasons for me facing my triggers this was because everything triggered me! So it was hard for me to avoid triggers. If I tried to avoid triggers I would avoid my whole life… lock myself in a dark room… and make new friends. When I say everything triggered me.....