Steamed Hams But It's The Confrontation From Les Misérables

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Produced and performed by RelaxWithMe.

Based on "The Confrontation" by Claude-Michel Schönberg and Herbert Kretzmer from the musical "Les Misérables".

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Lyrics:

Chalmers: Seymour, I made it, despite your directions.

Skinner: Ah. Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

Chalmers: Myeah.

Skinner: Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Ha ha ha, Delightfully devilish, Seymour.

Chalmers: Ah-

Skinner: Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill.
Isometric exercise. Care to join me?

Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?

Skinner: Uh- Oh.That isn't smoke. By god, It's steam! Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm mmmm. Steamed clams.

Chalmers: (Grunts)

Skinner: Whew.

Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.

Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.

Skinner: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.

Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?

Skinner:Yes. It's a regional dialect.

Chalmers: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?

Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.

Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams.

Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression.

Chalmers: I see.

Chalmers:You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.

Skinner: Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.

Chalmers: For steamed hams.

Skinner: Yes.

Chalmers: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

Skinner: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.

Chalmers: Of course.

Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.

Chalmers: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there?

Skinner: Aurora Borealis.

Chalmers: Uh-

Chalmers: Aurora Borealis, here?

Aurora, at this time of year?

Aurora, at this time of day?

And in this part of the country?

Localized entirely

within your room of cookery?

I must gaze behind that door

May I see it then, Seymour?

Skinner: Believe of me what you will.

There is a duty I’m sworn to do.

You know nothing of the lights.

They’re a hazard to your eyes!

I am warning you, SuperIntendant.

I have stronger eyes by far.

Skinner’s Mother: Seymour! The house is on fire!

Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the northern lights.

Skinner: No.

Skinner: And this I swear to you tonight.

Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow.

Skinner: The aurora will live within my care.

Chalmers: But I must say.

Skinner: And I’ll endure the Northern Lights.

Skinner & Chalmers: I swear to you, you (I) steam a good ham.

Skinner’s Mother: Help! Help!