The Armoured Might of Lance Corporal Jones Series Episode 6

we present arthur lowe, john, the and clive dunn in dad's army, [ Applause ], the armored might of lance corporal jones featuring john larry and james beck with this week's guest bill, pertwee, pearl hackney and richard davis. Here is the latest news, and this is john snyder, as nazi aggression continues.

The hun is Prepared to stop at nothing in his relentless determination to become the master of europe. Even the use of nerve gas is not beneath him ever alert to these eventualities. Captain mannering, commander of the wilmington on sea home guard platoon, is breathing his men on the hazards of gas water.

They are all wearing gas masks now the glasses that you will have to Contain are must have safely endeared and cleaned, and that concludes my lecture on the various types of guesses that the enemy will be liable to use anything wanting you who isn't the speaker, what Did he say was I wouldn't quite catch it? I can't understand the word you're saying take that gas mask Off better. I said I couldn't quite catch it, sir. I don't know what you said.

I want to know what joe said all right. Jones uh captain manny, wants to know what you said. I said to mr speaker.

Thank you. He must permission to speak, sir. Well, of course, he's got permission to speak, asking what he wants to say.

What do you want to say jones or call your word? He said he said he couldn't hear a word that You've been saying. Sir, he's never heard a word of that lecture. I gave what did the rest of you hear? Well, i'm not going over all that again, all right, remove your respirators and put them away.

We'll continue this lecture tomorrow now I want to introduce you to a new weapon. You see this piece of wire. Can anyone tell me what it is? Hi, it's a Grocer's cheese cutter, correct, a harmless cheese cutter but probably applied.

It can become a deadly weapon. I'll give you the story of how I got the idea for using this as a weapon. Is this going to be a long story? I was wondering if the men should stand easy.

Oh, yes, very! Well, all right man, all right stern! Is it All right, sir? You can carry on now. Oh thank you now. This is an example of improvisation.

At its best, a few days ago, I went to get the week's rations for my wife and myself from the grocer's as he cut off our meager ration of cheese. I thought why am I getting such a little piece under the wire cut through the cheese it turned from a lovely, yellow, cheddar to a nasty white limb burger And as it dropped off the cutting board on the marble slab, it then turned into the head of A nazi paratrooper, that's it! I thought just the thing for dealing with enemy, sentries creeper behind him, then you lob the wire on his neck. Like so and pull it tight result, instant decapitation, he doesn't even know: what's happened not until he nods his head.

What did you say, I said he'd be better off in bed, sir. He would indeed so it's from the neck pull tight. Instant decapitation.

Excuse me, sir, what is permission to be sick? That's not like an old campaigner like joan he's all talk. He's got no stomach when it comes to the real thing. I can't understand he's feeling sick.

Just because I mentioned the competition he just doesn't like trees now pay attention. I just received a communication from jade's cool saying that there is not enough cooperation between the arp and the home guard and that in future we must both work together for the common cause. Yes, thank you, sir good job also says that the chief warden will Be calling on us tonight to discuss various means of cooperation by the way who is the chief warden wilson? Oh it's that terribly common man.

You know, mr hodges, you know he banks with us hodges. Well, how can they make him chief warden man's a green grocer? That's right! Yes, he's the one with the dirty fingernails. How do you know he's got dead fingernails? Well, I can see them every Time.

He pushes his takings out of the grill. He keeps the shot next to me, sir, and ever since he's been made chief warden there's been no holding a man. You're right, fraser he's become drunk with power.

It's a nasty bit of work here, so you want to put your foot down otherwise, before you know where you are he'll be taking over from you, i'd like to see him trying all right. Well, then who's in charge. Here You know perfectly.

While I was in charge of him as hard just can't, how do you do as far as i'm concerned you're still the bank manager and wilson's your chief clerk? I can't forget his face every time I go to the bank with my takers. He gives me a dirty look that matches his nails. What did he say? Nothing? Oh! Yes, you want to keep those blokes in line mannering.

Do you mind not prodding me like that I'll do more than pot. If I get any more smart remarks, now have any structures that we're supposed to cooperate so i'll just tell you once I want this all every wednesday evening for arp lectures got it. I'm sure.