Every Time Someone Touched America's Boats

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Hello everyone, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Now stop playing Roblox, try to distract yourself from the fact Fortnite exists and prepare for a story about capitalism that makes MrBeast and Jeff Bezos seem poor by comparison. We all know that we are in pursuit of greater profit, let me show you:

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See? Check out that shameless algorithm pandering which I unceremoniously stole from The Spiffing Brit breaking YouTube. But the fact is money makes the world go round and like it or not, when you buy things they need to be shipped to you. This requires boats to do... and in a world with Pirates, a certain group in Yemen as well as various rival empires fighting for market share... that shipping needs protecting.

And in history there is ONE nation which REALLY doesn't like it when someone interferes with their shipping. So come with me dear viewer as I channel my inner Fat Electrician and take you on the long and tumultuous tale of how America's most famous motto AND history's greatest meme came to be. As we go through the first of a two part series in why the famous axiom was born:

Don't. Touch. Their. Boats.

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