"All Too Well (Thirteen's Version)" Doctor Who/Taylor Swift song parody (13 Songs, 13 Doctors)

***NO SPOILERS beyond "Legend of the Sea Devils"!!!***'

This finally uploaded at 4pm EST (9pm BST) at the exact moment Jodie Whittaker's era ended, which wasn't on purpose (curse you, spotty public WiFi and plans!) Anyway... THE 13 SONGS, 13 DOCTORS cycle continues with a parody of Taylor Swift's epic "All Too Well." It's not Ed Sheeran.

all clips (c) the bbc
original song written by Taylor Swift and Liz Rose
first recorded for RED (2012)
later recorded for RED (Taylor's Version) (2022)
Big Machine/UMG

parody lyrics, arrangement and editing: Sycorax Rock
Twitter: @Dystopiandy
andyrobotmedia.com

I blew past the door and fell
Air was cold
But managed to catch that train somehow and that
Watch your gran had at your sister’s house
Well I’ve got my own, in the drawer, even now

There’s Graham and Yaz and Ryan
And his Grandma Grace
The woman who fell fighting Whats His Face
Tried to find the TARDIS, got us lost in outer space
My ghost monument’s in an awkward phase

You can stop being time, you froggy old universe
Making things turn out right
Means that sometimes
You just feel worse…

Here we are again, on that medi-ship-a-thing
Felt something so familiar when you drop kicked the P’Ting
Earring in there, braces there, make sure everything all goes well

There’s a spider in the bathroom
The size of a Buick
Let it suffocate humanely - we best not shoot it.
Grandma’s talkin’ India - it broke like glass
But you can’t change the past, because the future is Yaz

And this new body, does it suit me?
“Smash the patriarchy” glass rained on the ground
A witch you cannot drown
And I was thinkin’ b about Yaz, how any day now
I was gonna say it’s love - that’s the plan and always was
I could’ve handled that one better
Checked the pulse of Time Lord Twitter
And confessed
Before one episode was left
it’s a very flat team structure but what’s up here is sometimes it’s mountainous - I’m so oblivious

I sorta took on Kerblam and gave King James quite a look
I don’t wanna hear I let bad guys off the hook…

But here we are again - Tim Shaw’s looking for a fight
Killing quick is wrong but killing slowly is all right
Cuz I care, fair is fair, that’s how everything all goes well
Here we are again, that microwave’s a blast
But even bloody Daleks pick up pieces of the past
And rebuild
Then get killed
Never mind that, it all goes well.

Baby in his NEW INCARNATION
The Master’s shrinkin’ dudes for fun
I thought I’d brought the Master Peace with the work we’d done
Plans laid bare
He got scared
And blew Gallifrey all to hell
I’ll out a brown guy to the SS like a total bloody bastard!
So casually cruel, even if he’s the Master
Thank you Noor and Ada, I’m not lyin’ here…
You won’t remember it all.. All… that well.

they say alls well that ends well but what in the fresh hell i can’t find
That Doctor in my mind
You think I’d remember but gosh have I ever met the Time
Lords, screamin’ “Why would they liiiie?”
That woman in the coat - who was she?
And how did she take on all of those Judoon
And why’s her TARDIS bluuuue…
And not weepin’ over lives forgotten
And toxic patterns learned from Tecteun
That’s right, Tecteuuuun….
And that’s a lot to tell Yaz, how would she ever cope
Never mind Ryan or the guys from the late night shows
With the lone Cyberman standin’ there knockin at your door
Looks like Lord Byron won’t turn 24….


Time won’t lie
And so the next time I see her
I’d like to find my old self again
Cuz I’m still trying to be her.
After Division Days and Ireland dreams
Now my butt is in jail and you’re a Charlie Day meme…
But you kept my new scarf from that New Year’s show
But there’s something bout the Timeless Child
I’m desperate to know
Said I’m the start of it
I don’t remember it all too well…

And here we are with Dan, facin’ down the Flux
I’ve said it all before, but nihilism really sucks
Case in point
Out of joint
Know my universe all too well

Thought I was always good in awkward spots I’m awkward a lot
I get older, my companions stay that age
You know I love my fam, but this is who i am
I’m a soldier who’s been running since half her age
you should see what my own people put (me?) through
do you remember what I said ‘neath the bed with you
as our longest night begins
I’m reminding you that darkness never wins
And I can hear the Cloister Bell…
I’ll remember it all so well

Just between us, you might soon remember it all too well.