The Assassin’s Dagger Was Dipped in Death, The Human Pulled It Out and Said “Nice Try” | HFY

The Assassin’s Dagger Was Dipped in Death, The Human Pulled It Out and Said “Nice Try” | HFY

Assassination attempts during first-contact ceremonies were supposed to be symbolic…
Not an actual attempt at murdering the human diplomat.

Ambassador Loko followed “tradition” a little too literally when he plunged a forbidden-class dagger—coated in a toxin that kills in four heartbeats—straight into Gregg’s chest. Delegates screamed, scanners malfunctioned, medical officers fainted, and one xenobiologist tried to leave the profession altogether.

Gregg?
Gregg pulled the dagger out, wiped it on his shirt, and said:

“Nice try.”

What follows is a full-scale diplomatic meltdown as the galaxy learns three horrifying truths:
Deathshade toxin doesn’t work on humans.
Particle disruptors don’t work on humans.
Assassins quit their jobs when they meet humans.

Medical scans reveal Gregg’s liver is literally glowing as it burns through banned toxins like cheap beer. Assassins switch careers. An auditor nearly breaks reality trying to file the correct paperwork. And the Valorian ambassador collapses when he discovers humans evolved on a planet classified as:

DEATHWORLD – CLASS OMEGA – AVOID IF POSSIBLE

Instead of demanding execution or reparations, Gregg does something that terrifies the galaxy even more:

He offers a trade agreement, a treaty, and a chance to fix everything—because holding grudges is exhausting, and humans prefer cooperation over conflict… unless someone tries to stab them again.

This HFY sci-fi story dives into:

Humans surviving forbidden toxins and weapons
Deathworld evolution and biological absurdity
Diplomacy turned upside-down
Alien assassins questioning their life choices

A galaxy realizing humans are terrifying and annoyingly forgiving

Perfect for fans of HFY, “humans are terrifying,” comedic diplomacy disasters, and stories where humanity breaks medical scanners just by existing.

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