🎀 Poem – Beware the Wibberly Whystle-Witch

Beware the Wibberly Whystle-Witch ⚠️
In a crooked old house where the pine trees bend, 🌲
Lives a diapering lady with rules to suspend. 🪄
They call her Miss Wibberly Whystle-Witch May, 🧙‍♀️
And if you're a young man—she's coming your way. 👀

She rides in a pram pulled by bats in pink bows, 🦇
With puffed powdered cheeks and curlers in rows. 💖
Her purse is a bonnet, her staff is a spoon, 🎀
And her shadow smells oddly like lavender bloom. 🌸

She sneaks through the towns on a fog-sugar night, 🌫️
With lace-covered goggles that glow baby-white. 👓
She sings through the chimneys a lullaby tune, 🎵
And drops pacifiers like bombs from balloons. 🎈

Now don't you go walking alone past the hedge, 🚷
Or loiter too long on the teetering ledge. 🪵
For boys who dare wander with scruff in their step 🚶‍♂️
Might just get snatched by her giggling net! 🕸️

Yes—a net! Of silk ribbons and rattles and string, 🧵
It drops from the treetops and snaps like a spring. 🌿
She’ll drag you off giggling and snort with delight, 😂
“Another young rascal for jammies tonight!” 😈

She’ll pin you in diapers, six layers or more, 🩲
With frilly white lace you can’t find in the store. 🛍️
She’ll powder your tush with a poof and a puff, 🍼
Then dress you in bloomers all froofy and stuffed. 🎀

She’ll curl up your hair in soft daisy-tied bands, 🌼
And paint your nails pink with her wiggly hands. 💅
She’ll pop in a soother and tie on a bib, 🧷
Then plop you in something she calls "The Crib." 🛏️

She has a whole basement—her "nursery den," 🏠
Where she keeps all her sissified baby girl men. 💖
They bounce on plush bouncers and sip from big sips, 🧃
While she reads them her stories with kisses on lips. 💋

And oh—don’t you dare try to wriggle away, 🚫
She’s got ankle puff-cuffs and restraints shaped like hay. ⛓️
She’ll swaddle you tight with a diaper bag zip, 👜
And whisper, “No big boys aboard this ship!” ⚓

So if you're a lad with a swaggering chest, 💪
Who scoffs at the frills and the soother and vest, 😏
Beware Miss Whystle-Witch, strange and divine— 🌙
You just might look darling in ribbons and shine. 🎀

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