Why you shouldn't block a stalker: Victim Story

Do you know someone being stalked, and wonder how you can help them?
“Maddie” was stalked by her ex-partner. Because he was part of her life, it took her a long time to realise his behaviour was considered stalking and that she could report it.

Her friends and family tried to help, but Maddie knew their advice would antagonise her stalker and make his behaviour more dangerous. Their frustration led to breakdowns in their relationships, leaving Maddie even more isolated. In the end, to please her family she took their advice, his behaviour escalated and he broke into her home.

In this video filmed with Maddie for Gloucestershire Constabulary, she talks about a good friend who she really valued through the experience, and the things she would have liked to have seen from her family to support her.

You can be a supportive friend/family member by:
• Letting them know you’re always available to talk about their experiences and you won’t judge
• Offering to log or store evidence if it’s not safe for the victim to do so
• Helping them report to police if they are ready, or seeking support through stalking advocacy services like Paladin
• Maintaining contact and remaining a safe person for the victim to contact – even if you feel they’re not taking your advice
• Remembering that stalkers who are ex-partners can be very manipulative and will often try and separate supportive influences from the victim

• Advice to stalking victims is to not block their stalkers on social media (especially if they’re an ex) as this can force the stalker to lose control and escalate their behaviour to more dangerous or violent tactics.
• This advice might seem contrary to the internet safety advice we are used to hearing, which often leads to friends or family members of victims feeling frustrated their advice is being ignored and the victim isn’t “listening to reason”
• In turn, this leaves victims more isolated from the people they need most, providing more control and access for stalkers.

If the behaviour your friend has experienced is:
• Fixated
• Obsessive
• Unwanted
• Repeated

It can be considered stalking, and can be reported to police.
For more information and to report visit www.talkingstalking.com

#StalkingFour #Stalking #StalkingAdvice