THE BIGGEST COMMUNICATION MISTAKE 💣 Are you making it too❓

𝗩𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗢 𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗥𝗜𝗣𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡:
Why Your Relationships Are Failing? Probably because of The Communication Mistake You Need To Stop Making. Find out what it is, and what to do instead in today's free communication skills training video from communication skills expert, Dan O'Connor. #communicationskillstraining #communicationtraining #toxicrelationships

In today's lesson, first I'm going to give you a simple 3-step script to address someone who compulsively communicates in a rude, insulting manner, then I'm going to tell you what the most common mistake people make is that causes them to fail, and finally you'll learn how to avoid that mistake so you can get it right and start effecting real change in your life with the words you speak. OK?

𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦:
0:00 Intro to Why Your Relationships Are Failing: The Communication Mistake You Need To Stop Making
0:23 Step 1:
How to Respond to Rude People at Work Using the Boundary Alert
1:59 Step 2: How to be more assertive at work using the Benefit-focused Order
4:55 Step 3 How to be more persuasive at work using the Confirmation Close
7:35 The biggest mistake most people make in their relationships and how to avoid making it yourself
8:08 How to use the laws of the universe to improve your relationships and communication skills
9:38 Cause and Effect and how to see it correctly so you can improve your relationships

Snippet from today's free communication skills training video online:

So let's say you're sick of the way someone is always talking to you or treating you and you've decided to address the issue. (Remember--don't think of it as confronting someone about the way they're behaving, or you'll have lost that battle before it's begun--but that's not what I'm getting at---just keep it in mind.)

For example, let's say you know someone who's always saying rude things, like:

"Hey dumbass, you forgot this..."

or

"No sh^#@# sherlock."

"Smooth move exlax"

"No, I don't want you to do it. I want it done right."

and you just can't deal with it anymore. What do you say?

Here's the 3-step script I suggest:
Step 1:Deliver a Simple Boundary Alert:
NAME,

When you . . . (When you say things like_____)
I feel . . . (I feel confused)
Because . . . (Because I don't know how to process that)


Step 2: Deliver a Benefit-focused Order:

If you could . . . (If you could you consider suspending that kind of language while I'm around) (Propose what you'd like them to do)
Then I could . . . (Then I could put a period to this issue) (Propose something you'd do in return.)
So you . . . (So you don't have to hear me talk about this again.) (Tell them how they'd benefit.)
Step 3: Ask a Closed-ended Question:

It could sound like, "Could you do that for me?"

or maybe, "Would you do that as a favor for me?"



If they say something like, "God you're a crybaby"



Now, they'll either say some form of yes, and in that case I recommend saying some kind of thank you that includes the word respect, such as:

"Thank you for respecting the way I feel. That was difficult for me and I appreciate it."

"Thank you, I knew I could count on you to hear me on this and understand, and I appreciate it."



Or they might say something such as, "You are such a baby," in which case I recommend something using the "That may be, but. . ." coupled with the broken record and again, the word respect. It might sound like, "Well, that may be, but I'm simply asking that you respect the way I feel. Can you do that?"



Or they might say some form of no, in which case I recommend something like:

"Alright, well, I respect your right to communicate and behave however you believe will benefit you the most, because that's what I do as well, so I understand."



However they choose to proceed, in the end is going to be of little consequence to you. That's not what this is about. What this is about, and what will be of consequence to you, however, is the lesson this is most likely there to teach you. And that's what we're talking about today. Because I believe for most of us, what this is about isn't the other person and their behavior, remember, that's there to serve us. If you need to review that, click on this video here.



The lesson most people are oblivious to, and the law most people are unaware of, therefore cannot distinguish is the law of cause and effect, and if you're making the mistake of thinking that the other person is causing this problem, and what you are saying is the effect, unfortunately, you are going to be doomed to retake this lesson again and again and again until you wake up. So how about we get it right and finish this lesson ok? I'd like to talk about the big mistake that most people make and how to avoid it.



To do that, we need to look at one of the laws of the universe that governs every relationship and conversation we have, what it is, how it works, and how to recognize it so we can follow it rather than be bound by it, OK



Let's talk about Cause and Effect.