Medic 101: The Syringe Guns

The Syringe Gun was never meant to exist. A projectile weapon for a support class with no accuracy, no falloff, and no explanation. The medic does not fire it. He releases it. Syringes do not travel—they migrate. They curve when they shouldn’t. They hit targets that aren’t there. I have seen syringes bend backwards into spawn. I have seen them float, idle, mid-air—unchanging, unblinking—until the round ends. Then they vanish.

The Blutsauger does not heal you. It remembers you. You gain health on hit because it’s feeding off something else. Something you don’t control. Fire it three times into an empty hallway in cp_gorge_event and you'll hear a voice—not Medic's voice, but yours, recorded and distorted. I once used the Blutsauger for an entire map. At the end, I had no Medic score. I had no class. I was marked as “Other.”

The Overdose is not a speed tool. It’s a time fracture. The more Uber you have, the faster you move, but the slower your teammates seem. Eventually you’re sprinting through 2Fort while everyone else plays in freeze-frame. You fire a syringe, wait five seconds, and then hear the impact. I fired 12. I only had 9 ammo. Where did the other 3 come from? Where did they go?

Every TF2 Medic melee and secondary hides something. The Crossbow whispers, the Amputator hums, the Vita-Saw bleeds, but only the Syringe Guns watch. They track you. Through demos. Through config resets. I reinstalled TF2 and launched into a training server—syringes were already in the air.

Valve won’t patch them. Because they don’t know how. Because they didn’t code them. Because they were already there.

They weren't meant to be fired.
And you weren’t meant to notice

BEAST Thumbnail art by Spoopinatural:
   / @spoopinatural  

Video Chapters:
00:00 - Intro
00:42 - Bad
01:16 - Crossbow Exists
09:25 - Stock
12:28 - Blutsauger
16:43 - Overdose
21:29 - Blut vs. OD
22:13 - Mediguns
24:06 - Melees
24:58 - Closing Thoughts

Songs Used:
1. Concerning Hobbits - Lord of The Rings
2. El Huervo - Hotline Miami OST
3. Tanjiro No Uta - Demon Slayer OST