Kingdom Hearts is Convoluted (Original song)

This is a project I did last year with ‪@slightlysteve‬ bridging the gap between KH1 and KH2 :D

Written & Performed by Steven Jay & Cosplay Dancer

Featuring the appearances of Charlotte Rose Allen & Jessica Broadbent

Kingdom Hearts is owned by Disney & Square Enix

Lyrics:

Kingdom Hearts is convoluted
Crossing Final Fantasy with Disney is stupid
Dodging attacks by mashing square
Desperate need of healing but Donald don’t care!

Ain’t got a clue, what is this game?
Why does everybody keep repeating their name?
Heard all about a kid with a keyblade
Let me take you back to when I very first played...

I was playing some games with my friends on da beach
When a storm came by and took them both out of reach
Woke up in a town, found a dog and a duck
They’re tagging along, guess I’m stuck

They’ll find their king, I’ll find my friends
Hopping world to world tying up loose ends
There’s Aerial, Winnie, oh what a dream
How this game is simple and clean

Found the man possessing my friend
I defeated him and the game ends

Onto the next game, Hope it’s the same
What the f***'s going on, starts off insane
The hell is this blonde guy, Did Sora just die?
Fighting off a lion man, the whole town’s a lie!

Why oh why is this opening so long?
Cheating on Sora feels so wrong!
Don’t have this time to spare!
I’ll play something else?

DON’T YOU DARE
Stupid little noob, what the hell did you do?
You never go from Kingdom Hearts 1 to 2
There are two full games

The spin-offs?

Oh no! There’s a whole lotta plot that you need to know.
At the end of 1 Sora’s body rips apart
Roxas (his nobody) wants a heart
While Sora’s in a castle his memories are taken
While Roxas is found by the organisation

Kingdom Hearts is convoluted
Crossing Final Fantasy with Disney is stupid
Dodging attacks by mashing square
Desperate need of healing but Donald don’t care!

Ain’t got a clue, what is this game?
Why does everybody keep repeating their name?
As I look outside the freedom I yearn
Are we almost done?

You have more to learn.

Now Kairi is a princess with a heart of light,
And that heart was inside Sora, hidden out of sight.
When Sora used the keyblade to release his heart
This is where 358/2 starts.

Namine was born from the body of Sora
And the heart of Kairi,

Thanks Nomura!

A special nobody who can change the past
By messing with the memories of the cast!

So O-13 need hearts to be free
So they convince Roxas to use his key
Meanwhile in Chain, Sora and friends get deeper
While Riku’s in the basement, Whose path is steeper.

The silent assassin, Marluxia’s his name
He's the antagonist of the game
He plans to overthrow Xemnas, His boss.
To remember his dead sister from Union Cross.

A scientist called Vexen created a puppet
As a fail safe if Roxas kicked the bucket
He called it Xion who became best friends.
They would sit and eat ice cream when the day would end

Axel -

Who?

“Lion man” was sent to kill
that side of the group
But Marluxia was still

Killed by Sora who was put to sleep
To restore his memories he was hidden deep
Inside a pod in Twilight town
Where DiZ and Namine track Roxas down.

Kingdom Hearts is convoluted
Crossing Final Fantasy with Disney is
(It’s really quite simple maybe you’re just)
Stupid

Dodging attacks by mashing square
Desperate need of healing but Donald don’t
(Keep his MP up if you really did)
Care!

Ain’t got a clue, what is this game?
Why does everybody keep repeating their
(I hope you remember each character by )
Name!

Why is the story like an essay! Are we almost done?
HA! NOPE! Back to Days!

With Xion alive she gains an identity
By absorbing most of Sora’s memories.
Roxas gets weaker more time passes by
So Riku convinces Xion to DIE!

So Xion is Kairi but Namine too?!
And Sora is Roxas but also YOU?!

No.
Dammit.
Anyway…

Death is the option that Xion chooses
She wants Roxas to kill her but he refuses
She attacks him but ultimately Roxas wins
And as Xion dies her body begins
To crystalize so Sora may live

But who will he eat ice cream with?

Riku and Diz track Roxas down
And trap him in digitalized Twilight Town
Did you get all of that?

Yep

My mind is fried
Wish I died
Want to play Mario but my hands are tied
Can I be free
From Kingdom Hearts 3?
Not until you’ve played Kingdom Hearts 3D!

Kingdom Hearts is convoluted
Crossing Final Fantasy with Disney is stupid!
Dodging attacks by mashing square
Desperate need of healing but Donald don’t care!

Ain’t got a clue, what is this game?
Why does everybody keep repeating their name?
So many questions I need to ask?
Why don’t Roxas look like Sora?

I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T KNOW OK! I TRIED TO REMEMBER AS MUCH AS I COULD! YOU KNOW WHAT SCREW YOU I’M OUT OF HERE.