Dad Life 2023

LYRICS:
It’s about to get hot, real hot
And we’re not talking about the pork butt in the smoker either

No for real it's super hot
Like 98 degrees, don’t forget your SPF.

Welcome to my office
I’m the CEO of Dad Co.
Man of the fam and
Supplier of these rad jokes
Pay ain’t very great but I go
To Home Depot
Don't ask if I need help
I know more than you, bro

Budget first, safety third, yeah that’s my code
I’m rollin’ 4 kids deep down to the depot
When it comes to DIY you could say I’m a savage,
Never met a project my Ryobi couldn’t manage.
I don’t call those pros, it aint worth the hassle,
I D-I-Y Baby, and this is MY castle!
I tools for days and knowledge for weeks,
So I can patch them holes, fix those leaks!

It's the dad pack
It's the dad pack
You need some help?
You should prolly call your dad back
Maybe don't text
We don't really understand that
Gonna send some memes
That you probably won't laugh at

If you tell me that your hungry
You’re not gunna be happy
Hi Hungry I’m dad
I’ll introduce you to the pantry
Need a random fact
Go ahead just ask me
Got khaki in my pants
Man I'm middle class fancy

I'm not really sleeping
I'm just resting with my eyes closed
Gotta save my strength
So I can take you to the gun show
If you stick with me
You know you're gunna get your mind blown
I never show up late
You can call me Mr. Time Zone.

Money doesn't grow on trees
But it disappears like magic

When I was in school we walked 10 miles up a mountain both ways.

I'm not lost
I'm just smarter than the GPS

Go ask your mom
But don't tell her I sent you

Don't touch the thermostat
I mean it... don't touch it

Don't make me turn this car around
I'll do it in a heart beat
If I ain’t ridin’ shotty
Catch directions from the backseat
Man with a plan
And some crocs for my bunions
Finger-lickin’ good
From Doritos and the Funyuns

30 min in the bathroom ain’t no business
Double ply toilet paper
Check it off your wishlist
Sports documentary
While working on my fitness
Dad of the year
I can't believe you got to witness

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