Andor Hold 'Em -- WoTIdol 2024

SPOILERS for The Wheel of Time season 2, episodes 1-4
I own no rights to the music.

To the tune of “Texas Hold ‘Em” by Beyonce

This ain’t Andor, ain’t your palace,
Forget your crown, crown, crown, crown, crown.
‘Cuz you’re a Novice of the Tower
Pack up your gowns, gowns, gowns, gowns, gowns.

There will be no luxury in here for you
Get down on your knees, scrub a floor or two
Here in the White Tower it’s a real hard living
Well then princess, keep scrubbing till the place shines, woo!

The Aes Sedai here, have no pity
They’ll smack you real quick if you get witty
You make fruit wine?
Well, let’s get wasted!
We’ll stay up all night, talk for hours, become best friends!

Oooooo, we’re besties for life
We’ll be Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah all right.
Oooooo, have each other’s backs
But this is your new wardrobe, and it’s off-the-rack.

This ain’t Andor, ain’t your palace,
Forget your crown, crown, crown, crown, crown.
‘Cuz you’re a Novice of the Tower
Pack up your gowns, gowns, gowns, gowns, gowns.

There will be no luxury in here for you
Get down on your knees, scrub a floor or two
Here in the White Tower it’s a real hard living
Well then princess, keep scrubbing till the–

There will be no luxury in here for you
Get down to the kitchens, scrub a pot or two
Here in the White Tower it’s a real hard living
Well then princess, keep polishing the silver, woo!

Novice
Novice
Novice

We have lessons on the Power
Sometimes it’s real hard to see that flower.
And Nynaeve she can really glower
So let’s take her back to our room and have some fun, yeah!

Oooooo, we’re besties for life
We’ll be Aes Sedai of the White Tower all right.
Oooooo, Wonder Girls, that’s us!
They’ll work us to the bone, but you can’t make a fuss.

This ain’t Andor, ain’t your palace,
Forget your crown, crown, crown, crown, crown.
‘Cuz you’re a Novice of the Tower
Pack up your gowns, gowns, gowns, gowns, gowns.

There will be no luxury in here for you
Get down on your knees, scrub a floor or two
Here in the White Tower it’s a real hard living
Well then princess, keep scrubbing till the–

There will be no luxury in here for you
Get down to the kitchens, scrub a pot or two
Here in the White Tower it’s a real hard living
Well then princess, keep polishing the silver, woo!

Polish all the silver, ooh
Knives, forks, spoons
Scrub the floor now, ooh
Wash, scrub, mop
Trash
Keep cleaning till it all shines, ooh
There will be no luxury in here for you
But at least we will have each other to get through.
Rings, dreams, friends
Florigenic, chromogenic, cute.