Dr. Ramani: Everyone’s Calling It Narcissism — And It’s Getting Dangerous

Ten years ago, the word “narcissist” exploded into the mainstream. For many, it was a breakthrough, finally putting language to toxic dynamics that had gone unnamed for years. But over time, that same word has been overused, misused, and weaponized — turning real pain into white noise.

In this episode, we sit down with psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Ramani Durvasula for what can only be described as a masterclass on abusive relationships — and the nuance we desperately need to navigate them. With millions of followers, three bestselling books, and decades of clinical experience, Dr. Ramani helps us get clear on what narcissism actually is and what it’s absolutely not.

We talk about how to assess the true pulse of your relationship — whether you’re in something toxic, or just stuck in unhealthy patterns. And we unpack what it takes to build a strong, grounded relationship moving forward — rooted in clarity, self-respect, and emotional safety.

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro
2:28 - The Story of Carlos & Adam
7:02 - How The Narcissism Conversation Went Off-Track
17:28 - Gaslighting vs. Lying
22:29 - The Danger of (Misapplying) Gray-Rocking
26:58 - Appropriately Setting Boundaries
35:28 - We Set The Bar Way Too Low In Relationships
41:14 - Hyper-vigilance of Wrongdoing in Relationships
54:59 - What is Narcissism, Actually?
59:52 - Does Everyone Have Narcissistic Tendencies?
1:09:45 - Love Bombing in The Early Stages of Relationships
1:17:33 - Identifying Green Flags in Another Person
1:22:39 - Why People Stay In Abusive Relationships
1:32:00 - Can An (Actual) Narcissist Change?
1:38:28 - The Role of Childhood Abuse In Becoming A Narcissist
1:44:41 - Narcissistic Abuse & Relational Trauma Are One
1:50:56 - Trauma Can Heal in Healthy Community
1:57:06 - The Role of Forgiveness
2:08:13 - The Future Of This Conversation

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Dr. Ramani Durvasula Links:
Instagram:   / doctorramani  
YouTube:    / @doctorramani  
It's Not You (Dr. Ramani's Latest Book): https://amzn.to/46E51aj

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