Riley Morningstar's Evolution (2015 - 2025) | SPEEDPAINT

TW: Mentions of self harm

I currently feel confident enough to give you a little detail about what it was like to grow in stages of my life, something I was afraid to share before, but I've finally mustered the courage to do so.

2015: I had officially decided to become an artist, YouTuber, pianist, and content creator. I was only 10 years old and had very high expectations for what my life as an artist would be like. My personality was enthusiastic, childish, and very naive and obsessed with the FNAF franchise. I had limited access to the internet and and was only allowed to upload my artwork to private accounts

2018 to 2020: 2018 was a year I became depressed due to bullying in school. This year I figured out my sexuality was gay, but I was made fun of, which caused me to try and take my life. This was also the year many of my artworks became “famous” and I started growing a fan base. 2019 was the best year and last year everything felt normal. I got my first boyfriend and began highschool. I was extremely happy, still childish and naive.

2021 to 2024: These are the worst years of my life. During these 3 years, I got into many controversies with users online. I always acted in very hostile ways toward people while defending myself, to the point of mistreating friends or people involved without a shred of empathy, which I would later regret. It was during this period that my friendships and relationship with my first Boyfriend started to end due to my attitude. lies I would make up, guilt-tripping, I even started getting bullied for stuff I didn't do at my high school from my mistakes the hard way. Although I met my current Boyfriend in 2021, the constant Stalking, harassment, and hate online and in person made me depressed, paranoid, and I was very unwell for a long time. I was afraid to ask for help or tell anyone, even hurting myself again, I gained a lot of weight and even got into legal issues. And in 2024, with the online hate, and defamation, I tried to take my life once again, it made me think “Did i really do this? Am I truly this awful person who should just die?” I stopped sleeping, I felt so insecure about myself and my appearance. I started seeing a psychologist to help me deal with my depression, anxiety

2025: I had started to overcome depression according to my psychologist. My little circle of friends supported me to the point that little by little I felt confident again. I apologized to those who I affected and directly or indirectly and have been mostly forgiven. I started to lose weight so I wouldn't have any more body issues. I also kept posting social media, even though the hatred for my controversies still lingers. I'm now at a point where I'm not interested in the hatred. I learned in therapy that the past is the past, and whoever dwells on something that happened in the past is the one with the problem for not being able to overcome it. It's up to me to decide whether to hide or improve as a person and rewrite my story. I even got back into childhood interests. Maybe I still have a lot to improve, but I can say that from 10 years ago to today, I'm not the same Riley: today I'm someone totally different, much more mature, and eager to improve.
By now, I've solidified my sexuality (Gay) and style, which is something of a semi-tomboy. I can describe my personality as more laid-back and confident. I admit I still need to work on my self-esteem a bit.

My evolution isn't over, and it's not even close to being over. For all those who are fervent haters of me and what I do or have done, I may never regain your trust, but I promise you that I will definitely work hard to prove that I'm not that Riley from 2021-2024, the lolcow and problematic one. After all, I'm 20 years old, my life has just started and nothing stays the same; it's just a matter of time before I prove it.

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