Memory of Spiraling - In Stars and Time Fansong

Content Warning: This song's lyrics contain references to mental illness, trauma, self-harm, suicide, death, and unreality, as these concepts are a part of In Stars and Time.

Hello there! Today, I'm here to share with you something I'm quite proud of, and that I've put a lot of work into: Memory of Spiraling, a fansong inspired by the game In Stars and Time! I honestly, genuinely cannot put into words how much this game inspired me and touched my heart--so I tried instead to put it to music, which I was able to do! It really is a wonderful, powerful, emotionally touching journey that resonated deeply with me, and I felt compelled to write this after beating the game a few weeks ago. Siffrin's journey, their struggle, their feelings, all hit so hard for me, and I just couldn't get it all off my mind. I think the song speaks for me here better than I can speak for myself, so please do take a listen, and I hope you enjoy! And, if you haven't played In Stars and Time, I can't recommend it enough, and really think you should check it out!! This is not a paid advertisement, I genuinely just love the game, hehe. Here are some links:

https://www.instarsandtime.com/
https://store.steampowered.com/app/16...

And now for some credits, and some lyrics!
Music and lyrics: Me
Additional EN lyrics/review: My husband~
French lyrics/review: My mom!
Visuals are from the game!
WARNING: Lyrics below contain spoilers for the game! More so than in the video, since I wrote out all the bridge lyrics as well.

LYRICS:
I will be beside you
Through every trial
No matter what the morning brings.
Stand tall,
Watch the leaves fall,
Turning in circles-- (repeat)

One. More. Time.
And it'll all be fine.
That's what I tell myself--
But inside, I'm--
Fine, just divine, tell a joke, I'm the punchline
In. And. Out.
Just take a deep breath.
Try not to choke on it--
Try, die, one more time
This too shall pass, it will pass,
Stars, just please tell me WHEN

Ferme les yeux et fais un vœu.
(Close your eyes and make a wish)
Est-ce que tu comprends?
(Can you understand me?)
Ne me quitte pas!
(Don't leave me!)

Take it from the top, no more second guessing
Turning back the clock watch it spiraling, spiraling
Learn from your mistakes, no more failures!
Make up the time, another do-over
What did they just say? Does it even matter?
It all sounds the same in this spiral of spiraling
Something's gotta give, banging on the walls,
Screaming in the dark as I fall back
in time.

Take the stage
Reading lines off a page
Here's where I laugh on my cue
Like last time
Stick to the script or you'll make everyone Change
Play the game
Every time it's the same
Winning and losing and
losing all I am,
Why can't I fix this, why can't I remember that name

*English sung in reverse
(Love won't save me
They'll all just move on
The new family
I called "home")

Looking for the clue... Looking for the ending...
Looking for the point of this spiraling, spiraling
This could be the one! Maybe this time,
all that I did will finally matter!
But it's still too late. They will never see me.
Look up at the stars and they're blinding me, blinding me
Make it to the end, do it all again, watch it break and then--
You can make them forget that they ever died

(See bottom of description for lyrics of the layered vocals.)

But it isn't fine! Suffering, repeating!
Sickened to my soul from this spiraling, spiraling!
Rotten in and out, I can't change it
I can go back, but I can't be better!
There's no way to win, I will always fail you
Sugar blends with tears as they spiral and spiral and
Not another breath, sweet embrace of death, there is nothing left
All I want is rest!!!
Let me rest...!!!

LAYERED VOCAL LYRICS:
Vocal 1:
Remember, just remember
Reach for it, it's so near
Why can't I say it? Oh why
Why can't I...?

Vocal 2:
Fleeting, flickering
Those distant galaxies
The color of despair
Blinding sorrow

Vocal 3:
Burning sugarcane. On my tongue.
Even though we won. It's still rotting.
Yet again, all the words I've heard before.
Rituals that the world can't ignore.

Vocal 4:
One more, one more, just one more time.
One more, one more. Just one more try.
One more, one more. Just one more time.
One more, one more. Just one more time.

Vocal 5:
Tell us, tell us.
Tell us, tell us.

Vocal 6:
Spiraling, spiraling. Spiraling, spiraling.
Crumbling. Downward.

Vocal 7:
Save us, save us. Save us, save us.
Save us, save us. Save us, save us.

Vocal 8:
Go. back go back go back. go. back go back go back.
Go back go back go back. make it not real.
go. back go back go back. go. back go back go back.
go. back go back go back. death can't have. you.

Vocal 9:
No one needs you. They can't see you.

Vocal 10:
Die. Just die. Die!