I played Ranked Melee for 1 day (again) and this is what I got

first one:    • I played Ranked Melee for 1 day and this i...  

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Once upon a time, in a town called Shroomton, a young boy was picking mushrooms. However he was taking a dreadfully long time to find what he was looking for, not because he couldn’t find any mushrooms. No, he was in a place called Shroomton for goodness sake! But rather he simply didn’t know which was the right one. He had been sent here by an old woman deep in the forest, who said that if he brought her a talking windowshroom she would use it to make him a magical potion of great worth. “What kind of potion?” the boy had asked. The old woman responded, “A potion that can make anything you touch turn to gold”. “I’m not a fool, you know”,
The boy said, “I know the old myth of king midas, and I’ve got a nice dog named Lion I’d like to pet many more times”. “Ah,” the old woman replied, “but you see, this potion will not make everything you touch turn to gold, it will merely give you the choice”. Now the boy was wishing he had asked the woman how to identify a talking windowshroom before rushing to Shroomton. All he had to go off was the name, and no one in town seemed to know what he was talking about. But he eventually collected three mushrooms that he thought could be what he was looking for. One was green and hairy, one was blue and spiky, and one had a brown stalk with an orange and white top. Which of these could be the talking windowshroom? Well humans talk and are hairy, so maybe the first one. But at the same time windows are made of sand, where one could find blue and spiky crabs. And this third one is the epitome of a shroom– “Hey, you”
The boy heard a voice say. Had he been thinking about this for so long he overstayed his welcome in the inn? “Hold on, I just need ten minutes and I’ll be packed and out of here”
He said while going to open the door. “I promise I really didn’t mean to, I’ve just gotten carried aw–” but when he opened the door there was no one there. He looked at a clock and he’d only been thinking for 20 minutes. “Yeah I’m talking to you over there, don’t you try running away from me”. The voice was coming from the third mushroom. “Wait, are you talking?” the boy asked the mushroom, “Yes, I am” said the mushroom
“And do you have windows?”
“Of course I do, how else would I see you trying to escape this situation”
“And are you, by any chance, a mushroom?
“No”
“What else could you possibly be then?”
“I’m Hefty, Hefty Smurf.”
And that was how I met the Smurfs from the Smurfs franchise. It turned out the old woman was actually Gargamel in disguise, and I was sent back to him with a bunch of dynamite. Neither he nor his cat Azrael survived the blast.