owlyra - dead girl spiral

i'm so tired of this life

[verse 1]
keys drop like i meant to stay
air smells old in a familiar way
bag hits floor, i let it win
home feels thin when you walk in
lights buzz low, floor too clean
everything looks like judging me

piano stares, i look away
i used to love you, not today
i count the cracks, but cannot say
you talked to me, but it's too late
used to feel like something here
now it’s just walls and atmosphere

[pre]
i keep watching myself exist
like I am not the one i’m with

[chorus]
i don’t know why i feel erased
fuck, my body’s out of place
sink runs, face down, for too long
heart forgets the words to wrong
tell myself it’s not that bad
say it smiling, say it sad
that’s not me, that’s who i play
so i go numb, so i can stay

[verse 2]
shirt on tile, skin too cold
mirror cracked, don’t wanna know
bathroom light keeps humming loud
thoughts pour messy, black me out
pill pack empty, can't survive
save it for another night

marks like notes i didn’t write
body talking, brain offline
choke it off, call it sleep
pretend this shit is kind of deep
i'm so happy, fucking fine
why not do some overtime?

[chorus]
don’t know why i feel like this
borrowed someone else’s skin
water climbs, lungs hesitate
quiet flows to static fate
nah relax, you’re being weird
you're better if you disappeared
that’s not me under my breath
just a girl rehearsing death

[bridge – monorhyme section]
i stay
i fade
i say i’m okay
i pray
i wait
i rot in delay
i break
i fake
i push it away
i shake
i hate
the way i stay

[bridge]
water hugs then lets me go
floor says hi i kiss it slow
everything feels kinda fake
like pain’s just art i overtake
wash it off, loop again
same routine, never end
close my eyes and blur the gray
prolly die, prolly today

[chorus]
tell myself tonight’s alright
that girl’s alright, at least tonight
tell myself i’ll fix it soon
but soon’s too late, like back in june
my keys don’t sing, my voice feels gone
i'm sitting there like I belong
just take the pill to float a bit
a dead girl's spiral, fucking ick

i made it here
i stayed too long
i call this home
guess i was wrong