If the NFL Was Scripted… Preseason Edition

What if the NFL really had a secret preseason script meeting?

In this comedy skit, the Commissioner sits every team down and lays out the “official” NFL Preseason Week 2 plan… and it’s pure chaos from start to finish. From CeeDee Lamb getting tackled by a referee (and the Cowboys not even playing him) to the Lions being picked for a “near death” ambulance scene, to shady backroom deals with Kansas City — no one is safe.

The Cowboys are confused. The Packers get punished just for talking. The Jets finally beat Green Bay, but only after Rodgers is out of the picture. The Chiefs think their “special favor” means another Super Bowl run… until they get told they’re losing to the Cardinals. The Bills get stuck losing to the Giants, the Browns and Panthers are ordered to start a fight just to make the game watchable, and the Jaguars’ rising star Travis Hunter has his NFL debut wrecked on purpose.

Lamar Jackson and Derrick Henry? Benched. Anthony Richardson? Breaks a finger after three passes. The Bengals get roasted for their cold starts, the Raiders and Seahawks are forced into a draw, and the Bears get into a trash-talk battle that turns awkward real quick.

This skit is loaded with NFL Easter eggs, “NFL rigged” energy, and over-the-top preseason drama that pokes fun at your favorite (and least favorite) teams. Whether you’re a Cowboys fan, Packers fan, Jets fan, Chiefs fan, Bills fan, Lions fan, Browns fan, Panthers fan, Jaguars fan, Ravens fan, Colts fan, Bengals fan, Raiders fan, Seahawks fan, or Bears fan… this one’s got something to make you laugh (and probably make you yell).

Teams featured: Dallas Cowboys, Green Bay Packers, New York Jets, Kansas City Chiefs, Buffalo Bills, New York Giants, Detroit Lions, Cleveland Browns, Carolina Panthers, Jacksonville Jaguars, Baltimore Ravens, Indianapolis Colts, Cincinnati Bengals, Las Vegas Raiders, Seattle Seahawks, Chicago Bears.

If you’ve ever joked about NFL conspiracies, Goodell’s “secret plans,” or refs having a favorite team, this is your kind of preseason chaos.

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