Ep. 173: How to Defuse From Unhelpful Thoughts

Welcome back to The Wise Effort Show! In this episode, Dr. Diana Hill, clinical psychologist and author of "Wise Effort," explores how our minds can both empower and hinder us. Learn practical, science-backed strategies to defuse from unhelpful thoughts, become more cognitively flexible, and focus your energy on what matters most.

⏰ Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction: Why our minds can be both our greatest asset and biggest barrier
00:49 – Surfing and the Mind: Lessons from a surf trip with teenagers
02:08 – Understanding Your Mind: The unstoppable thought machine
04:13 – The Marshmallow Experiment: Delayed gratification and cognitive diffusion
08:40 – The Three Cs of Cognitive Inflexibility: Confirmation, Coherence, Compliance
14:41 – Breaking the Rules: Why you should challenge your mind’s rules
18:08 – Practical Tips for Cognitive Flexibility: Marshmallow mind, both/and thinking, and breaking rules
20:12 – Connect with Wise Effort: Membership, reviews, and acknowledgments

Key Takeaways

Your mind is always producing thoughts—some helpful, some not.
Avoidance is not wise effort; learn to step back and observe your thoughts.
The “Three Cs” that make us inflexible:
Confirmation Effect – We look for evidence to support what we already believe.
Coherence Effect – We oversimplify and avoid holding paradoxes.
Compliance Effect – We follow rules for social approval, even when they don’t serve us.
Practical strategies:
• Practice “marshmallow mind”—shift your perspective instead of fighting your thoughts.
• Embrace both/and thinking to hold complexity.
• Break your mind’s rules to align with your values.
Connect with Dr. Diana Hill & Wise Effort

Become a member: wiseeffort.com
Leave a review: Podchaser
Follow for more insights on living with intention and wise effort.
Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for mental health treatment.

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