Push Through - a short film on internalized ableism

Push Through was originally made for the Easterseal's Disability Film Challenge, the genre of that year being "Superhero". That was also the week I received my Autism diagnosis.

Coming to the realization that I am neurodivergent helped me face the ableism I have held against myself my whole life. As a chronically ill/autoimmune child, I thought if I could somehow hide my physical disabilities and push through the pain, then people would stop being cruel and treat me as a human being. I was so wrong. Whether I spoke up about my disabilities or not, to a lot of people I was seen as difficult, as a problem that needed to be fixed. And I believed them. By being ableist to myself, all I did was cause more pain in my body, and my mental health suffered.

But I am not a problem. My disabilities are not a problem. Disabled people are not a problem. The problem is the ableism in our society - the lack of awareness, the lack of acceptance, the lack of accommodations that would make it easier to survive in this capitalistic hell-hole.

After my Autism diagnosis, I was also diagnosed with ADHD and C-PTSD. During the time it took to process all this new information about myself, I made some adjustments to this short film with the help of neurodivergent filmmaker, Larry Bao, and Grammy-nominated artist, John Burke. With the support of their artistry, Push Through was an Official Selection in the 2023 Minneapolis St. Paul International Film Festival, and Semi-Finalist in the 2023 Blow-Up International Arthouse Film Festival. This short would not have been the same without Larry or John's help, and I am incredibly grateful to both of them.

I know this is an absurdly long read for a YouTube description, so if you've made it this far: thank you. And thank you to every disabled person out there speaking up for the community, and helping someone like me feel less alone in this world. And thank you to those who listen.

If you liked this film, please consider giving it a like, comment, or subscribe to the channel. If you'd like to donate to my Ko-Fi fund so I can continue on this creative journey, you can do so here: https://ko-fi.com/awildstream.

Thanks for watching!

Push Through:
Producer, Writer, Performer: Alyson Calder - https://alycalder.com/
Director, Cinematographer, Editor: Larry Bao - @liarbuyer (X/Twitter)
Composer: John Burke - https://www.johnburkemusic.com/

Equipment:
Camera: Canon Powershot G7 X Mark II
Tripod: JUSMO Extendable Phone Tripod
Microphone: Audi-Technica AT2020USB+

Social: @awildstream (IG/TikTok)