120. Asking For a Friend With Lolo Urbiztondo

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess sits down with Lolo Urbiztondo, Jess's former partner and best friend. They share recent updates on their lives, with Lolo recounting her journey of falling in love with her current partner and the profound realization of being in love. Jess reflects on the transformative changes she's experiencing as she prepares for the arrival of her babies. The episode's second part revisits the classic "Asking for a Friend" style. Jess and Lolo offer thoughtful responses to questions from their listeners, covering a range of significant themes. They explore the importance of seeking and trying therapy, the value of understanding how to date oneself, and how self-discovery plays a pivotal role in determining one's desires in a relationship. Additionally, they delve into the significance of trusting oneself and evaluating the strength of a relationship.

In this episode of Open Late,
Newest Life Updates
Lolo's current love story
Jess's reflections on impending motherhood
Importance of dating yourself first
Building strong relationships and JOMO “Joy of Missing Out”


Connect with Lolo
• Instagram: @lolo_urbiztondo

Connect with Jessica:
• Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast
• Website: openlatepodcast.com
• YouTube: Open Late Podcast
• What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz
• Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp
• Open Late Dictionary

2:30 I saw him and there was this energetic pull I felt. – Lolo Urbiztondo

14:13 My kids will know that we had a former relationship. It's something I will never going to hide. – Jessica Esfandiary

15:13 We will remain open, we are not closing our relationship just because we are having kids. – Jessica Esfandiary

19:01 You are in the presence with your partner, and it's important to remember not to project your past and experiences that were traumatic on to your current relationship, because when you do that you make your partner wrong for the things that happened to you in the past. – Jessica Esfandiary

21:30 There are so many things to explore, and every different kink dynamic has a full spectrum. – Jessica Esfandiary

30:27 A good relationship with promise, or a partner that is showing up and its also doing the work, keeps me motivated. But if the other person isn’t engaging, the way that you are in this healthy way than I am unmotivated. – Jessica Esfandiary

31:54 I look at it as like when you are in partnership you are in this love temple together and you are both adding in love deposits. – Lolo Urbiztondo

36:05 For me dating myself hardcore was listening to the things I always wanted to do and checking them off my list. – Lolo Urbiztondo

40:32 When you can look at everything that happens to you, even if it really sucks and hurts, as like happening for you and not to you, you start to look at life as a gift - Jessica Esfandiary

43:34 A quality person is going to create safety in your relationship whether they are with someone else as a primary or not-Jessica Esfandiary


49:18 The crazy thing about non monogamy is that it's not about this new person. A lot of people think it is “oh I have such a great connection with this new person” but the truth is new person brings out a side of you that you love that you haven't experienced in awhile. – Jessica Esfandiary

50:00 We live in a society and a culture that is geared towards monogamy where people think that this is the norm and so it's really hard for people to break out the box. – Jessica Esfandiary

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