Husband Left Me While I Was Pregnant Because I Didn’t Make Our Anniversary Romantic Enough

Husband Left Me While I Was Pregnant Because I Didn’t Make Our Anniversary Romantic Enough

I, Harvey 30, am six months pregnant with my husband's, Ethan 31, baby. Ethan and I have been married for a year and two days and I'm pregnant with our first child. During this pregnancy, I've been very exhausted everyday and would usually come home from work and go to bed an hour later, then I'd wake up at midnight and reheat what Ethan had made us for dinner. For context, I've been part of a huge work project that's been going on for months, and I've been extremely overworked. On top of this, my husband doesn't have a job at this moment and isn't looking for one unless I remind him. I've been working overtime and for a few hours on my days off to get as much money as I can before maternity leave since I don't have a high-paying job and I'd like to have some extra money for take-away food. for long and tireless days with the baby. Our anniversary was on the 6th of August and I'd asked him if we could have a romantic dinner at home and then snuggle up to watch TV under a warm blanket until we passed out. I thought it was a wonderful idea since I was too tired to go out and because I knew that Ethan was doing most (if not, all) of the household chores. However, he seemed a little annoyed when he agreed, but I thought nothing of it.
The next morning, Ethan seemed quite cold towards me and barely looked me in the eyes when I asked if he was feeling well, but I had to go to work and so I left without an answer. Once I got home, he wasn't there, but that was normal since he could have been out with friends or at an interview, and so I went to sleep. I woke up at eleven that night to see that I was still alone in the house so I checked my phone. had about 8 missed calls from Ethan and a long text from forty minutes ago. I'm summarising but the text read: 'I understand how tired you are because of this pregnancy and you having to work extra hours most days, but I'm over being ignored everyday and having a five minute conversation with you every so often. You expect me to do all the housework AND plan our lazy and boring anniversary ALONE. I'm really annoyed so I'm staying at a friend's tonight, text me when you see this.'
Of course I called him and texted him about being sorry and wanting to talk, but I never got an answer. In the morning, I called my boss about having a personal day and spent most of the day waiting for Ethan and planning my big apology. However, when he came home, he silently handed me a rose and a heartfelt, emotionally written card before he went out for an interview. His card told me how much he loves me and how he doesn't want to leave this conversation, but needs a few days until we talk to plan out what he wants to say. I've had ages to think about it and I realise how distant I've been towards Ethan and how I've barely lifted a finger around the house, but I'm still not sure if I am fully to blame here. So am i the a hole?
Relevant Comments:
not the a hole - I'm sorry. What is he? 5 years old? Did he forget how to speak? He clearly forgot how to WORK and is expecting his PREGNANT WIFE to SUPPORT HIS LAZY BUTT while he SULKS like a TODDLER because he's "not getting enough attention" because YOU have to work extra hours to keep a roof over your damn head, food on the table, and the damn LIGHTS ON, so you can SEE him sulking, all WHILE you are PREGNANT. I'm sorry, but that is NOT a man. That's a child who apparently is still stuck to his own mum's chest and hasn't weaned off yet to know that he's supposed to be the one taking care of YOU.
So, let me get this straight: He doesn't work. He refuses to look for a job
He doesn't SPEAK to tell you what he's thinking (crystal balls have been broken for SO long and people don't realize they have to actually TALK now.)
He resents you for "not meeting HIS needs" while meeting NONE of yours.
He plays emotional games with your head, banging out of the house while you're asleep go to "play with his friends" on your anniversary. Then comes back with a flower and an apology, and in the same breath says "But I don't know if I've forgiven YOU yet."
You know what that is, right? NARCISSISM. Honey, he is GASLIGHTING YOU. At EVERY SINGLE TURN he is gaslighting you. And you're LETTING HIM. STOP IT!! You have ONE baby on the way. You don't need two. You've raised him long enough. He needs to go back home to his mummy and reattach to her chest if that's what he wants so much. Because CLEARLY he's not been weaned. He wants a mum, not a wife. You're already single, baby. You're RAISING A FULL GROWN MAN and SUPPORTING A FULL GROWN DAMN MAN!!!

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