How long is too long to let your baby "cry it out"?

Many parents who are trying to get their babies to sleep better at night have tried to let them cry it out, and it sounds like that's what you're doing. When you try it you may find that your baby, no matter what you do, cries for hours. This can be really normal because up to this point they've learned that when they cry they get what they want most, which is you. The whole point of the behavior modification is to teach them how to self soothe or how to go back to sleep without help from you. This can take time and discipline from you. There are a few different ways to go about it, of course one of which is crying it out. This is a very effective method of teaching a baby how to sleep on their own. It just involves putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake at a normal time every night, developing some sort of routine ahead of time that gets your baby into sleep mode, and once they've been fed, changed, and loved you can let them cry as long as you're comfortable with it. All babies have different temperaments and so do parents. If you feel like you only want to let your baby cry for an hour or two then that's up to you. There are other parents who are able to tolerate it for hours on end. After just four to seven nights of doing this most babies respond and do actually start going back to sleep on their own. If this method seems unacceptable to you or you just found that you're not having success with it you can try a couple of other approaches. One is more gradual where when your baby starts to cry at night you go into your baby's room and keep everything neutral. All contact is neutral meaning you don't pick your baby up and hold them or love them. You just gently pat them, you don't talk to them, and you turn around and walk right back out of the room. What this does is reassure them that you're there but you're not available to cuddle them. You slowly increase the amount of time you wait before checking on them again. The first time when they start crying wait five or ten minutes, then go in and check on them, then they'll probably still be crying, so 10 to 20 minutes later go in and check on them again. If needs be wait 20 to 30 minutes and then go in again the next time, then 30 to 40 minutes and so on. Again, after about four to seven nights of doing this your baby should respond. Even this seems a little harsh for some parents and so some find that if they slowly wean themselves away from their baby their baby responds better. You may start out by sleeping on your baby's floor. Do this for three nights and then just try standing at the doorway for a few nights until your baby has gotten used to that. Then move outside the room and see how your baby responds. It's all about separating your baby from you and getting them to learn how to go back to sleep without your help. Whatever method works best for you, even if it is crying it out, if you're comfortable letting them cry for hours and you know that they're not in immediate danger or have any immediate needs it's okay to let them cry. If you have any more specific questions about it or concerns with your baby don't hesitate to ask your pediatrician. If you have any other questions for me in the future feel free to ask them on our Facebook page at Facebook.com/IntermountainMoms and recommend us to your friends and family too.