Atheist, Christian, & Psychotherapist Debate Marriage & the Church

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Is marriage a sacred commitment, a social contract, or just a church-approved tick box? A Christian, Atheist and Psychotherapist unpack desire, pressure and disappointment over marriage. Pull up a stool.

Hosted by BBC 1Xtra’s Theo Johnson, featured guests; Isaac Tendo, Sayo Talabi and Blessing Chanda. Three ways of seeing the world. One bar. All the questions that connect us.

Introducing Walk In A Bar — unlikely guests sit for a conversation that is anything but ordinary. Deep questions. Surprising perspectives. Banter on tap. New episode’s dropping bi-weekly. Subscribe to    / @four8tv   to watch new episodes. Follow along on   / four8stories   for updates and exclusive behind-the-scenes content.

CHAPTERS:
0:00 – Do Atheists Even Want Marriage?
Theo asks Sayo, as an atheist, if she still subscribes to marriage at all.
0:04 – Sayo: Rituals, Fire Dances and Marriage Before Religion
Sayo explains why she doesn’t care for marriage personally, and how rituals and celebration long predate organised religion.
0:51 – Can Non-Religious People Still Marry?
Theo asks why non-religious people would want marriage; Sayo says desire alone is enough, outside any faith framework.
0:57 – Marriage as Contract, Control and Power
Sayo breaks down the history of marriage as political deal-making, forced unions and control over young girls.
1:58 – Different Reasons, Same Destination
Using her work with sickle-cell charities, Sayo argues people can seek the same “goal” for very different, valid reasons.
2:36 – Blessing: Divorce, Discernment and Church Culture
Psychotherapist Blessing shares what she’s seen in divorces from religious and non-religious couples, and why people need more discernment before marrying.
3:05 – Tick-Box Christianity and Single Shaming
Blessing and Sayo call out self-righteous church culture that celebrates weddings but sidelines single people and other big life wins.
3:33 – When Marriage Feels Underwhelming
They talk about people treating marriage as the next life step, then realising it’s more average and messy than promised.
4:09 – Isaac: Can Church Reform Marriage Talk?
Isaac hears a desire to reform how churches push marriage, admits it’s hard even in his own ten-year marriage, and calls for better community for singles.

CREDITS:
Host: Theo Johnson
Featuring: Isaac Tendo, Sayo Talabi and Blessing Chanda
Created by: James Walker
Director of Photography: Ricardo Mcleary-Campbell
Series Director: Femi Oyeniran
Series Producer: Delia Williams
Camera Operators: Fola Abatan, Alexander Rozerot Kirkwood, Giulio Piccirillo, Dan Howe, Jomar O’Meally
Gaffer: Duane Jay
Spark: Sachin Parmar
2nd AC: Marcellino Hockner
Assistant Producer: Lakesha Abrams
Casting By: LEVILE
Casting Assistant: Vanessa Mensah
Production Design: Wet Studio
Art Director: Hannah Eccles
Supervising Sound Editor: James Hynes
Sound Recordist: Declan Chew
Sound Assistant: Ada Walker
Digital Imaging Technician: Judy Tett
Make Up Artist: Tashana Francis
Photographer: Johnathan Williams
Location Assistants: Alex Bullock, Alex Lawrence, Mairéad Ruane
Editor: Olumide Odutuga
Series Edit Producer: Bec Gourlay 
Colourist: Freddie Reed
Post Production Sound: The Sound Directors
Graphics: Isabella Walker
Executive Producers: James Walker, Vikki McLachlan
Filmed on Location at: Stereo Covent Garden
With Thanks: Soho Sonic
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