The Polyamory Problem: Why Do People In Open Relationships Always Look Like That?

You can go to my sponsor https://aura.com/AndrewBriggs to try 14 days for free. That’s enough time for Aura to start scrubbing your personal info off these data broker sites, without you lifting a finger.

Books I mentioned (amazon Affiliate)
The Gift Of Fear: https://amzn.to/3KNIob2
The Body Keeps the Score: https://amzn.to/3KNJsvy
The Ethical Sl*t: https://amzn.to/4qgeR9h
More Than Two: https://amzn.to/3MLOPvO
GO FOLLOW WOMPTOMP:   / notwomptomp  
‪@WompTomp‬

00:00:00 It Begins
00:05:21 I could Never
00:11:19 Jealousy
00:19:27 Predatory
00:26:01 Overcommunicate and special language
00:33:49 Why Is It All About Sex?
00:43:26 Poly couples with children
00:49:54 Why Are People Going Poly?
00:58:04 LGBT and open
00:58:50 Why do people in open relationships always look like that?
01:03:56 Counter cultures
01:06:58 Pragmatic Open Relationships
01:09:20 Nonmonogamous Conservatives
01:10:01 Is This Bad For Society?
01:24:40 Why Do I Care?
01:30:30 Why Am I Monogamous?
01:32:43 False Consent
01:35:04 What I Couldn't Figure Out

Why Do People in Open Relationships Always Look Like That?
Why does everyone in a polycule talk like a trauma-informed AI? And why does “divine masculine” always mean some guy with a septum ring with dreads?

This video dives deep into the rising trend of open relationships, polyamory, and the soft-therapeutic language that comes with it. But it’s not just about laughing at crystal-aligned goblin couples — it’s about asking the deeper questions that few people seem willing to touch.

Why are so many modern relationships collapsing under the weight of their own “freedom”?
Why is monogamy seen as outdated, yet open dynamics rarely produce long-term stability?
And most of all — why do both sides think they’re the evolved ones?

In this long-form video essay, I look at the cultural shift from traditional monogamy to what I call “performative polyamory,” and its cousin — hookup monogamy. Because let’s be honest: dating apps are filled with people who use sex as a tool for emotional connection and then act shocked when it all falls apart. But somehow that’s still seen as more respectable than two adults negotiating multiple emotional entanglements over brunch.

We’ll explore:

The difference between polyamory, non-monogamy, and plain old emotional chaos

The spiritualized language of open relationships (“holding space,” “feeling safe,” “honoring boundaries”) and how it masks insecurity

The illusion of hyper-communication in poly culture — and how it often hides a fear of emotional intimacy

Whether monogamy actually causes stability — or if it just shows up in stable cultures

Historical forms of non-monogamy (and why modern ENM has little in common with them)

The role of jealousy, boredom, and resentment — with actual Reddit data breakdowns

Why some people are more loyal to ideology than they are to their partners

This isn’t a takedown piece. It’s not a trad rant. But it is critical. And probably offensive to anyone who takes pride in their relationship as a political identity.

Expect references to courtly love, Thomas Sowell, Temple of Solomon-level polycules, and the kind of fitness analogies only a personal trainer with emotional damage could make. I even did the math on how often people in poly subs post about jealousy compared to monogamous ones. (Spoiler: it’s not close.)

Whether you’re open, closed, poly-curious, or just here to see me make fun of people named “feralwife420,” you’re welcome. Let’s talk about what people get wrong about relationships — and what might actually work better.