The Empathy Myth: Autistic Therapists Speak Out | Ep 15 | Too Much Apparently Podcast

Description:
Ever wondered what people think when they find out you're autistic and a therapist? Yeah. Us too.

In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice — two therapists and recovering perfectionists with squishy brains) get real about being autistic therapists in a field that still believes we lack empathy.
We unpack harmful stereotypes, challenge the "blank slate" therapist ideal, and share what it's like to be the therapist who asks "what does that face mean?" — and why that might actually make us better at this job.

This time we talked about:
🎙️ We've felt this thing too (and we still do): The worry about outing ourselves professionally, wondering if being autistic makes us "less than," and that moment of realizing "wait, autistic people can't be therapists… but I'm a therapist?"
👀 What it looks like in real life: Not assuming what facial expressions mean, asking clients to explain their metaphors, being deeply focused on people and relationships as a special interest, and bringing blankets and fidgets to sessions
🧠 Why our brains do it: Pattern recognition, hyper-focus on human behavior, heightened sensitivity to others' emotions, vivid imagination for metaphors, and a lifetime of studying social dynamics to understand a world that felt confusing
🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: The "Cassandra complex" of seeing patterns others miss, depth over small talk, asking clarifying questions instead of assuming understanding, and embodied knowledge of what it feels like to be misunderstood
🧰 Coping mechanisms: Shaping your practice around your needs (hello flexibility), modeling self-care and boundaries, using self-disclosure appropriately, and creating therapy spaces where masking isn't required
🌱 How to make peace with it: Recognizing that your difference isn't a deficit — it's often exactly what your clients have been waiting for

TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Intro: Can autistic people be therapists?
00:01:00 - Our feelings about this episode
00:03:00 - Why Alice finally put "neurodivergent" on her website
00:04:00 - The empathy myth and why it persists
00:07:00 - TV representation: Elle Woods, Sheldon Cooper & autistic characters
00:11:00 - Pattern recognition as a special interest
00:14:00 - Asking "what does that face mean?" in therapy
00:18:00 - The double empathy problem explained
00:22:00 - Communication "deficits" or just different?
00:27:00 - The Cassandra complex and seeing patterns
00:30:00 - Hyperphantasia and using metaphors in therapy
00:34:00 - Eye contact, stereotypes & infantilizing autistic clients
00:39:00 - Modeling self-care as an autistic therapist
00:40:00 - Why therapy training ignores neurodivergence
00:44:00 - Book recommendations for autistic clients and therapists

Thanks for listening
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👩‍💻 Carly Radford:
→ Website: www.carlyradford.com
→ Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist
👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew:
→ Website: www.alicetew.com
→ Instagram: @reparentingwithalice
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Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn't therapy, and it's not a substitute for professional support. We're here to share ideas and experiences, but if you're struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.
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