Playing Saints Row: Decanonized

Today we're playing Saints Row... The New One, well I like the old ones but that means very little right now. It's a crime sandbox with the worst criminals (and characters) I've seen in a good while, it's fun to pick apart though so lets do that.

Links
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Title suggested by Kammerer

SECTION 1: FOUR INTROS AND A THESIS
00:00 1. New Canonising
07:54 2. Three Intros and a Closed Case
08:07 INTRO 1: In Meaningless Res
11:32 INTRO 2: A Rookie Mistake
18:24 INTRO 3.1: Fake Friends
26:06 INTRO 3.2: Faker Threats
32:29 3. Intro Outro
SECTION 2: THE GAME
36:02 1. Marshall Bore: Combat
44:00 2. Bland Theft Auto
50:10 3. Side Hustles & Small Hassles
59:45 4. Challenges & Perks
SECTION 3: THE SAINTS COME BUMBLING IN
01:01:58 1. The Peter Principle: Set up to Fail
01:08:26 2. The Roommate Code: Drama Denied
01:12:08 3. The Saints Come Bumbling In
01:17:35 4. Santo Illeso: Collectibles & Hidden Histories
SECTION 4: FRIENDLY FIRE
01:23:50 1. Mission Imperfect
01:27:05 2. Neenah: Half a Mark for Half an Arc
01:30:57 3. Kevin: Idols and Backlash
01:37:51 4. Eli: Filler Campaigns & Failed Characters
01:46:52 5. Saints Woes
01:55:49 6. Misad-Ventures
SECTION 5: THE NAHUALLI
02:05:01 1. The Theftship
02:12:22 2. The Finale
02:19:35 3. The Finale
02:23:48 4. Conclusion