Fry Hard: Welcome to the Birthday Party, Pal! | Ep. 254

“Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs…”

It’s my birthday, and we’re celebrating with the only Christmas movie that matters: Die Hard.
Tonight, we’re channeling our inner John McClane by crawling through “Ventilation Shafts” made of deep-fried cheesecake and drinking a cocktail that looks like an ’80s action movie explosion.

Tonight is all about Fry Hard. We’re turning the kitchen into Nakatomi Plaza to deep-fry dessert. We’re trying this recipe two different ways — using egg roll wrappers for a crispy crunch and flour tortillas for a chewy, comfort-food vibe — to see which one hits the spot.

Grab a blue drink, watch your step for broken glass, and welcome to the party, pal.

🔪 ON THE MENU — “THE VENTILATION SHAFTS”

Fried Cheesecake Chimichangas

We’re making these delicious vents two ways to get two totally different textures.

The Filling (The Concrete)

8 oz cream cheese (softened but cool — this isn’t frosting!)

⅓ cup granulated sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

Pinch of salt

The Wrappers

Option 1: Large egg roll wrappers (sealed with water)

Option 2: Small flour tortillas (sealed with toothpicks)

The Finish

Cinnamon Sugar Dusting: ½ cup sugar + 1 tbsp cinnamon

“Bloody Feet” Sauce:
1 cup raspberries + 1 cup strawberries, simmered with sugar & lemon juice

💡 PRO TIP:
Freeze your rolled chimichangas for 15–20 minutes before frying.
The sugar binds water in the cream cheese, and the freezer step ensures the wrapper gets crispy before the filling turns into molten lava.

🍸 THE COCKTAIL — WELCOME TO THE PARTY, PAL PUNCH

A smoky, electric-blue margarita that hits as hard as a rooftop explosion.

1 oz tequila (blanco or reposado)

1 oz mezcal (for the smoke)

0.75 oz blue curaçao

1 oz fresh lime juice

0.25 oz agave nectar

Secret weapon: splash of orange juice or orange bitters

The Rim: Lime juice + Tajín
(The red rim against the blue drink is essential.)

Instructions:
Rim your glass with Tajín. Shake all liquid ingredients with ice until your hands freeze. Strain over fresh ice. Regret nothing.

📺 TONIGHT’S RUN OF SHOW

Welcome to the Birthday Party

Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie?

Making the Cheesecake “Concrete”

Rolling the Vents: Egg Rolls & Tortillas

The Freezer Pivot (Critical Step!)

Cocktail Corner: The Blue Nakatomi Punch

The Fry Hard Zone (Redemption Arc)

Plating & the “Bloody” Sauce

The Taste Test: Crispy vs Chewy

Side Dish Science & History

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We’re a husband-and-wife team (plus our amazing friend Denise) making side dishes, drinking strong cocktails, and hanging out with the best community on the internet.

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