Heal Your Own Trauma Before You Adopt

In this powerful continuation of their conversation, Connie Going goes even deeper into what it really means to pursue ethical, child-centered adoption. She talks about why hopeful adoptive parents must process their own trauma before stepping into adoption, the danger of trying to be the “perfect” Facebook family, and how truly loving a child means also honoring and supporting their birth parents. Connie breaks down creative, attachment-focused parenting strategies (including why traditional discipline and “cry it out” can backfire for kids with trauma), and shares real-life stories from older child adoption, foster care, and reunions with birth families. She also unpacks intervention cases in Florida, federal and state subsidies, and how race and funding impact private and foster adoption. Throughout, Connie returns again and again to the same core message: build your toolbox, stay flexible, care for your own nervous system, and keep the child’s story—and their connections—at the center of every decision.


🔗 Important Links
RG Adoption Consulting→ https://rgadoptionconsulting.com
Book a 30-Minute Consult with Rebecca→ https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact
Learn More About Connie Going
→ https://conniegoing.com/
Heart Gallery of Pinellas & Pasco
→ https://gulfcoastjfcs.org/heart-galle...
Sweet Peach Tree
→ https://sweetpeachtree.com — use code ROADMAP10 for 10% off


Chapters
00:00 Sponsor + Part 1 Recap
01:40 Why You Must Process Your Own Trauma Before Adopting
04:10 The Myth of the “Perfect” Home Study & Facebook Families
06:05 Loving Birth Moms Through the Fire, Not Just With Resources
08:20 Florida’s “Wild West” of Adoption, Money & Scams
11:50 Full-Circle Healing With Taylor’s Birth Mom
13:36 What Connie Looks For in Older-Child Adoptive Families
15:30 Flexible, Creative Parenting vs. Rigid “Perfect” Parenting
19:41 Attachment for Infants & Kids Who’ve Survived Neglect
24:00 Time-In vs. Time-Out, Spanking & When Discipline Becomes Harm
29:21 What Is an Intervention Case in Florida?
35:10 Federal Subsidies, State Assistance & Who Qualifies
40:10 Race, Private vs. Foster Adoption & “Biracial” Openness
43:47 Building Your Trauma-Informed Parenting Toolbox
45:14 Self-Care, Quiet Moments & Listening to Your Body
47:12 What Kids Need Most From New Adoptive Parents
49:14 Rapid-Fire Questions & Connie’s Final Advice


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For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠



RG Adoption Consulting is here to hold your hand through every step of the domestic adoption process from home study to finalization, so you never feel confused, lost, or on your own. With our proven (pinky swear) 4-step Adoption Roadmap℠, my team’s goal is to help you bring your baby home in less than one year, whether you’re…single, gay, already have kids, or are over 40.